DAVID DEANGELO - MEETING WOMEN IN BARS & CLUBS SEMINAR SLIDES.ppt

David DeangeloMeeting Women in Bars & Clubs WorkbookGetting To “Success〞 •You need to decide what “Success〞 in this area looks like for YOU •Instead of striving to be able to pick up any woman in any situation, figure out what you’d like to accomplish personally with women, and in your life in general, and go for it •Investing too much time in this area only leads to obsessive technique-addiction, identifying, etc. •Most of us have more than enough opportunities, or can create more than enough easily... the real objective is to optimize those that are already in front of us •The idea is to take advantage of all the great situations that are already happening in your life FIRST •So take a minute right now, and write down what you’d like to get from this program… and what skill you’d like to haveIntroduction•Our topic in this program is meeting women in bars and clubs… and other public places • We’re going to talk a lot about technique and “how to’s〞 •You’re going to meet some of my friends who are going to fill your mind with tips, tricks, and ideas for everything from approaching women to not having to wait in lines… and even getting into exclusive clubs for free •And before we get into the techniques and the specifics, I’d like to share some important concepts to frame this conversation…Naturals Laugh At This Work •I’d like to share something that’s counterintuitive with you •Many friends of mine who are “naturals〞 laugh at all the complex techniques and crafty tricks we’re going to talk about here… and about the idea of leaning “techniques to meet women〞 in general •These “naturals〞 have a fundamental understanding of how to communicate with and attract a woman that becomes more apparent after you understand the techniques •To a “natural〞, the only thing that’s required is knowing how the mating game works, being able to read a woman’s body language and signals, and then being a man •Keep this in mind as you learn… and make your objective to ultimately develop that part of yourself that already knows how to meet and attract a woman you’ve just met… not to learn a million techniques to make up for the fact that you can’t do it “naturally〞 •You can get to the point where you are “unconsciously competent〞, and you respond to each opportunity with women without having to think about it or consider itCommit To Practicing And Improving •If you’re going to pursue this way of meeting women, you need to prepare yourself for some work •Go out at least once a week for 90 days, and study for at least an hour a day in the days between •If you work on this for 90 days, you’ll improve •Like anything else in life that you want to pursue, if you give up after a few setbacks you’ll only waste your time… and your money •Make a commitment to yourself to work on this everyday, and to go out at least once a week for 90 days to practice what you’re about to learnThere Is No One Best Way •In this program you’re going to hear from people who have very different styles and philosophies •Your objective isn’t to be just like one of the people you hear from, it’s to learn new perspectives, philosophies, and approaches… so you can integrate them into your own style and be MORE of who you are… not less •Whatever works for you is the best way… and trying to be someone else or make them into your god because they know how to do something that you don’t know how to do isn’t going to help youRealities Of The Bar And Club Scene •Attractive women dominate this environment – they expect and get special treatment •There are almost always more men than women in bars and clubs •Most men are looking to get laid, most women are looking to get attention •There will always be men present who are very competitive and very aggressive •Women are often annoyed before you get your first words out •Music, friends and competition from other men can be very distracting •Women that frequent bars and clubs aren’t typically the most mature and emotionally healthy •Moral: Don’t take this too seriouslyNegative Aspects Of Meeting Women In Bars And Clubs •Most single men are looking for a fantastic woman to have a great relationship with… and women that go out a lot to bars and clubs usually aren’t exactly what you might call “girlfriend〞 or “wife〞 material •The noise, drunkenness, bad girl/guy ratios, competition from desperate (or drunk and desperate) men, and insecure/attention/status oriented culture in many bars and clubs can take awhile to become accustomed to •Ironically, if you can really “get〞 just how not-girlfriendquality the women in bars and clubs usually are, and at the same time raise your standards, THAT ALONE will make you more attractive to the women you’ll meet therePositive Aspects Of Meeting Women In Bars And Clubs •There is no better place to “try things out〞 with no real consequences •If you can make things work in this environment, you can make them work anywhere •You can get more “practice〞 in within the span of a few hours than a week in the “real world〞 •When you learn how to meet women successfully in bars and clubs, the “real world〞 becomes almost unbelievably easyGetting Numbers Vs. Picking Up Chicks •Consider the differences between these two ultimate objectives: •The ability to “pick up chicks〞 and “take them home〞 •The ability to get emails and numbers quickly and follow up later •Difference in philosophies, difference in results, difference in outcomesPre-Arranging Your Success •Much or most of your success in Bars And Clubs can be determined by what you do BEFORE and AFTER you go out... Not just what you do while you’re out Kobayashi Maru Scenario •Getting to know key people •Think: Rolling into a club with 5 attractive, socially connected women as opposed to 5 dorky guys •Where you go before •Where you’re going afterSocial Networking Secrets •The social networking aspect could be the most important of all •Who you know, including doormen, owners, bartenders •Who you go with, who goes with you •This concept of being in “the mix〞, planting seeds, having several different things working for you over the LONG TERM, which is FAR more powerful than just short term thinking“Mini〞 Or “Short〞 Social Networking •Go to the bar with the intention of making CONNECTIONS FIRST, not meeting women first •Start talking to everyone, to see if you can get a feel for where the “network hubs〞 are •Make some male friends who are obviously connected to the scene, buy them a drink, and become established as being “part of the inner circle〞 (being a “new person〞 and also being part of the “inner circle〞 gives you great advantage... you’re the new, mysterious challenge) •Know three other bars or clubs that you’re thinking of hitting up after this one, so you can talk about it and invite others or go along with others •Listen carefully for clues to the social scene, nightlife, after-parties, etc. so you can use this valuable information as you meet peopleGreat Friends To Make And Have • Women: •She’s married or in a serious relationship, but she loves helping guys meet women (you usually have to be “very cool〞 to trigger the “I want to help him meet women〞 reaction〞) •She’s single and a “player〞, but you don’t get together with her... you make it clear that you’re just interested in being FRIENDS (this is magic for a woman who never has any guys who are genuinely interested in her) • Men: •Great with women and is fun to be around in a bar/club setting •Guy friend who has a fun girlfriend who likes to help guys meet girls •Well-connected in the social bar/club/party sceneConsider How Going Out With These Different Groups Would Affect Your Success • One guy friend who’s not good with women • One guy friend who is good with women • Two or more guy friends who aren’t good with women • Two or more guy friends who are all good with women • One woman friend • Two women who are good friends • More than two women and just you • A large mixed group • What’s ideal? How do you want the men and/or women to think of you, treat you, etc. and you them? Consider this and plan wellStarting With Happy Hour At Your Place •When I first moved to Los Angeles, I had a bright idea… •Have “happy hour〞 at my place on Friday nights between 7 and 9 PM •Invite friends and any women I’d met that week over for a casual drink •Have plenty of things lined up for the rest of the evening, which keeps all kinds of great options openBuild An Email List And Have Regular Social Get-Togethers•Get the email address of every attractive, interesting, and/or fun woman you meet •Every month or two, invite them all to your place to have a few drinks, have a bar-b-que, or have a party •Invite cool “socially connected〞 people to your place •If your place isn’t well-located or convenient, have your get-togethers at someone else’s place (someone who shares your interest in being well-connected)Networking For Social Success •In order to get into the “in〞 social mix, you need INFORMATION •Information is truly the bar/club scene’s social capital •If you know where and when the best parties are, and you know the people who are having them (or people who can at the very minimum get you and others in) then you’re in •Networking is the answer… it is THE high leverage activity •Start by keeping your ears open for local parties or after-parties •Ask club promoters, bar tenders, DJs, etc. what’s going on AFTER •Next, start SHARING this valuable, good information with those socially powerful promoters, bar tenders, and DJs… which begins to position you as a key source of valuable information •After doing this consistently for just a couple of months, and paying attention to the friends you’re making, you’ll find yourself able to create magicCompounding Results •Increasing several areas a little each, and compounding the results... so your lifestyle brings you as many opportunities with women as you can handle •Creating and improving your own fashion style and appearance •Building a list of socially connected people who are always in the mix •Going to high-probability places •Knowing influential social “network hubs〞 at the places you frequent •Starting conversations more effectively •Improving body language to increase attraction •Dialing up attraction with your communication •Having ten or so standard come-backs for common situations •Leading physically and having “the next place〞 lined up •Knowing when and how to get an email and/or number •If you increase just these nine areas by 20% each, what do you get? [06 19 00] (Moral: This is all about you, and not about her… you have so much control and effect)Personas And Bars •The persona barrier •How an attractive woman’s “bar persona〞 develops •How personas are often mirror-image projections of what’s REALLY going on inside •Staying in there for several minutes, and why •Returning to see if she’s open YET, and whyHow To Weird A Girl Out, Give Her The Creeps, Give Her The “Instant Ewws〞 •Turn up near her over and over and over again •Stare at her too much without talking •Touch her when she hasn’t initiated the touching •Act nervous •Act like you’re not comfortable in the social situation •Act like you’d give anything to talk to her •The importance of being “cool〞, not needy at all, interesting, challenging, mysteriousFive Quick Ways To Get An Email Or A Number •Do you have a card? No? Give me your number... •Do you have email? •Let’s trade information, and I’ll catch up with you later... •Do you have a phone? Give it to me for a minute... •Here [hand her your phone]... Her: “What?〞... Physical Leading And The Right-Now Date •Greg and the original lessons he taught me •Lead her to the dance floor •Lead her to a different part of the bar/club •Lead her to a different club (now you’re on a date) •Lead her to a bite to eat •Physically leading, going to a new physical environment is incredibly powerful“The 2 Biggest Reasons Why Men Fail In Bars And Nightclubs… And What To Do About It〞•What do most guys do when trying to meet women in bars and nightclubs?The Big Mistake In Thinking •The sad truth is that most guys don’t approach women at all •Here’s what they do instead… •Stare at her from afar imagining something happening between them, but never actually doing anything •Linger around the area she’s hanging out in hoping that he’ll bump into her, and she’ll be forced to talk to him •Think up reasons not to approach •The biggest mistake here in thinking is “something is going to happen without you actually doing anything〞A Night Out In The Life Of An Attractive Woman •She spends an hour or so in front of the mirror… just in case •She shows up at the club, and guys whistle and yell at her as she walks past the line •The bouncer lets her in without waiting •Through out the night, 5 guys offer to buy her a drink •10 guys stare at her from afar, one follows her around the club •2 guys ask her what time it is •3 guys tell her she’s the best looking girl in the club •2 guys take a picture with her •4 guys come up to her and her friends and say “How you ladies doing tonight? •7 guys try to dance with her, most by creeping up behind her and trying to rub their crotches against her assThe Big Mistake •The big mistake here is that most guys think what they are doing is original, when in reality she’s seen it dozens of times before… and probably dozens of times THAT SAME NIGHT A few more of the “routine〞 things guys do that bore women: •Approach her with a typical compliment •Approach with a non-original greeting (“Hey ladies! … How you ladies doing tonight?, etc.) •Approach her with a made-up reason (“What time is it? … Do you have a cigarette? … Do you know what time this place closes? … Do you know how to get to so and so? … etc.) •Offer to buy her a drink •Introduce himself or ask her name •Ask her the same old questions, e.g. “what do you do?〞, “where do you live?〞 etc., •Try to impress her with money, job, experiences, or status •Get overly excited and act like she is the only woman in the club •Cling to her until she goes away How This Affects Her •Over time, women come to see routine things as “warning signs’ •Sure, if you’re a good looking guy and have a good vibe she’ll give you a little bit longer to make an impression, but not much. “Naturals〞 vs. Regular Guys •My goal was always to become as good as the guys I knew who “naturally〞 attracted women. It seemed that they did little or no work, yet they always had more women than they could handle •I made it my goal to track down and observe as many of these guys as possible, and figure out exactly what they do differently from us “regular〞 guys •When I was first starting out, I tried to find out about all of the lines and techniques they used to get so many women in bars and clubs •I discovered that by using lines and techniques—along with getting my style together and taking care of the “basics〞—I could achieve marginal success. My MASSIVE and CONSISTENT success came only after I internalized the beliefs and attitudes that were behind the techniques •The techniques will work occasionally by themselves, but with the framework in place they work like nuclear weapons.“Naturals〞 vs. Regular Guys •When you have the framework down you won’t need to memorize lines or techniques because you’ll be able to come up with them at will •I’m first going to talk about the attitudes of the naturals, the differences in the way they think, and the real reasons why they have such an easy time meeting women in bars and nightclubs. I’m then going to share some techniques you can use to jumpstart your success. •Keep in mind that what I’m going to share with you now is 100 times more important than what I’m going to share with you later in the program. When you master these concepts you’ll be able to consistently meet women in bars, nightclubs and everywhere else with very little effort •SO LET’S GET STARTED! The Concept Of “Naturally Cool〞 •A major realization I had while watching my friends who were naturally good with women was that they had a “cool〞 vibe that women would instantly pick up on •I noticed that when they met women, they would always have the attitude that the women were lucky to be talking to them. It was as if they subtly said “Do you KNOW who I am?〞 without actually saying it, and without coming off as arrogant •After watching enough of these guys, I came to realize that learning to be naturally cool might be the most important thing you can do to attract women •I know many cool guys who don’t have it all together, yet they always have women. I also know a lot of “not-cool〞 guys who are very successful in all areas of their lives with the EXCEPTION of women and datingThe Universal Traits Of “Naturally Cool〞 Guys: •He really doesn’t care what people think about him. A cool guy never places excessive meaning on any one interaction. He knows he can’t please everyone, and he is totally ok with it •His respect and friendship must be earned. To gain his respect, you have to either be a friend of a friend, or show him that you are also cool. This holds true for both the men and women they meet. They give no “bonus points〞 for status, looks, or material possessions •He is open and honest, and never afraid to state his opinion. A cool, confident guy doesn’t beat around the bush. He’ll always say what’s on his mind because he knows that people value what he has to say, and he’s not afraid to piss someone off •He is decisive. If you ask him if he wants to go somewhere, he won’t say “I don’t know〞 or “what do you want to do?〞 He’ll tell you yes or no, whether he thinks it’s what you want to hear The Universal Traits Of A Naturally Cool Guy: •He is confident in his decisions. If you tell him his shirt is ugly, he’ll tell you that you have horrible taste in clothing •What he is doing is always the best thing going. If a woman is talking to him about the great time she had on Saturday night, ou’ll never hear him say, “I wish I would have been there〞. He knows that whatever he was doing was either more fun or more important •He is always the best thing going. If a woman talks about another guy, he will always have the subtle undertone that she would have a much better time with him •Women never come first in his life. He always has a purpose or priority that is more important to him than she is, and no woman will ever control him Naturals Set A Distinctive Presence •Bars and nightclubs can be intimidating... It’s easy to blend in •I noticed that the “naturals〞 always set a powerful presence inside the club that women couldn’t help but notice •I learned that in order to have massive success you must be completely comfortable with your surroundings. You have to “own the place〞My House! •The FIRST thing I do when I walk into a bar or club is to stop, put my arms out and say, “MY HOUSE!〞 •Have the attitude that everyone there happens to be a guest in your house, and you belong there more than they do •Think about how you would act if you were REALLY at your own house. What would you do?How To Take Over The House •Walk up to groups of people and say, "Hey... is everyone here having a good time tonight? CHEERS!〞 •Say hi or give a cheers or high-five to EVERY ONE you walk by •Greet the bar staff warmly like they are old friends •Walk through the club with a purpose and give a polite but firm “excuse me〞 to anyone who gets in your way •Grab your own section of the club or bar and make it yours •Speak with a loud commanding voice that can be heard above everyone else Create A Presence With Your Body Language •Stand tall, puff your chest out •Pretend like you are “on camera〞 at all times. Avoid jittery movements and things like cracking your knuckles or biting your nails •Keep your hands at your sides with your fingers together, or in your pockets with thumbs pointing towards your crotch (just like the bad guys in the movies). You can also put your hands in your back pockets or cross your arms •Keep your legs spread slightly more than shoulder-with apart •If you’re next to the bar, put your hands or arms across it. •Hold strong eye contact and never be the first to break it •Take up a lot of space. After all, it is YOUR HOUSE! •Do as many of these things as you can… the results will increase exponentially The Paradox Of Success •When I first started going to bars I would go to “pick up chicks〞 •I’d try to talk to every girl in the place, and if I didn’t go home with at least a phone number I felt like I hadn’t accomplished anything. Needless to say, I went home frustrated on a regular basis •I noticed that my “natural〞 friends didn’t really care about meeting women when they went out. In fact, they thought it was kind of weird that I would always try so hard to meet girls •One night I was out with a friend who is one of the best I’ve ever seen at naturally attracting women. As usual, he had girls all over him… with absolutely no effort on his part •I quizzed him on it a few days later and he finally set me straight. He said, “Dude… it’s BECAUSE you go out and try so hard that you don’t meet more women. Girls notice when a guy is out to “meet chicks〞 and it turns them off… in fact, a couple of the girls I know have said that about YOU!〞 •Ouch! •This turned out to be one of the most important lessons I would ever learn.An Interesting Paradox •Most “regular〞 guys go out to meet women, and end up going home alone •Most “naturals〞 go out to have fun, and end up going home with a woman Fishing vs. Hunting •Regular guys go “hunting〞 for women. Naturals go “fishing〞 •If you have a “motive〞, you will project it SUBCONCIOUSLY, whether you like it or not •Women can sense desperation, neediness, and “trying too hard〞 the moment they see you •If she can tell that you CARE whether she is into you or not, she will INSTANTLY disqualify you… even if you are doing everything else right •At the same time, if you put too much meaning into something, you’ll have a tendency to think too much and screw it up •On the other hand, if you are relaxed and just out to have a good time and make some new friends, women will be naturally drawn to your laid-back attitude •Be a fisherman, not a hunter! LESS effort will lend you more results!You’ll Never Be Able To “Read〞 Some Women, So Don’t Even Try •One of the hardest parts of learning this stuff is knowing what you need to focus on to get results •One of the biggest mistakes I made was trying to figure out how I could tell if a girl was interested in me •I tried paying attention to body language and listening to what girls would say to try and find clues, but nothing seemed to work consistently •After many strange experiences with women, I’ve noticed that often times when a woman is into you she won’t do ANYTHING to show it •Sometimes they’re playing hard to get, sometimes they’re too shy, and sometimes they just don’t know how •So what do you do? How do you know? It’s Always On! •The simple solution is to have the attitude that “IT’S ALWAYS ON!〞 •Treat any situation with a woman like she wants you BAD. Women have no respect for a guy that doesn’t have the balls to make a move, whether that move is getting her number, going for a kiss, or going all the way. •You must go for it every time! If you don’t, you’ll never know… and you’ll often leave her disappointed •“Going for it〞 is often the trigger that puts her over the edge and convinces her she wants you •Next time you are in a situation with a woman and you don’t know what to do, take a step back and think to yourself, “What would I do right now if I knew this girl was totally into me?〞 Figure out what move you would make if you held all the cards, then DO IT!Every Woman Loves A Challenge •Being a challenge is the most powerful thing you can do to really differentiate yourself from other guys •A few years ago a close female friend of mine told me “Every woman loves a challenge〞. At the time I thought I understood the words, but I didn’t understand the importance of it or what she really meant. •The fact of the matter is that most guys throw themselves at women and act lucky for an opportunity to be with them. Even society refers to a guy getting laid as “getting lucky〞. •Because most guys are “easy〞… women know that they can get a man anytime they want… and usually the man of their choice •The great thing about this is that you can give yourself a MASSIVE advantage if you give a woman a challenge. You’ll be able to literally turn the tables and have her pursuing you Every Woman Loves A Challenge •It took me a long time to figure out exactly how to do this. I started out by asked some of my female friends what made a guy a challenge. Here is what they said: •He doesn’t always return phone calls when you think he will, and doesn’t call when he says he will •He isn’t always available to hang out •It’s hard to tell if he likes you or not, and you never know how much •Now, this didn’t really make sense to me… Wouldn’t she have to already be into me and pursuing me in order for me to “not〞 return her phone calls and not be available? In other words, wouldn’t she have to already be into me in order to CARE whether I liked her or not, and how much? The Challenge Itself Is Attractive •The interesting realization I had is that just the fact that you are a challenge can create TREMENDOUS attraction. It’s human nature for people to want what they can’t have, and women are so used to meeting “easy〞 men that simply NOT being “easy〞 can be enough to get HER to pursue YOUYou Create The Challenge From The Start •I realized there had to be some subtle ways to let her know that you’re a challenge from the moment you meet her, without actually saying it. •I thought about what kind of guys were naturally “hard to get〞. The answer is of course guys who already have a woman, or who have women swooning over them on a regular basis. •So what do these guys do differently AT THE VERY BEGINNING to triggers that powerful feeling in a woman that says “I have to have him〞?The 5 Elements Of a Challenge1. Hold Onto Your Cards (Don’t Tell or Show Too Much Interest) Don’t introduce yourself until she asks your name Don’t try to impress her Avoid the standard “wuss〞 questions and suggestions – e.g. “What kind of guys do you like?〞, “Am I your type?〞, or “I bet you have a boyfriend…〞 Don’t suggest future plans with her Avoid excessive and routine compliments Avoid the “interview〞 questions Don’t linger around her The 5 Elements Of a Challenge •Don’t give her your full attention if other people are around •Don’t take an “I’m gonna spank to this picture〞 picture •2. Make Her Work •Make your goal to get her to ask you out, or ask to join you to do something you are already doing •Ignore or decline her first advances or invitations •If she touches you, tell her to stop •Don’t “hit〞 on her or do typical guy stuff The 5 Elements Of a Challenge •Give her fun tests (Ice cream test) •Make her qualify herself to you (What makes you interesting/different?) 3. Use Takeaways •Start talking to someone else while you’re talking to her, or instead of talking to her •Get her laughing, then walk away •Be unpredictable – e.g. put your arm around her, then ignore her and start talking to your buddy •Walk away if she starts talking to someone else for more then a few seconds or if she answers her cell phone The 5 Elements Of a Challenge•Use the power of “Maybe〞 … “I have to get back to my friends, but maybe I’ll see you later〞 •4. Challenge Her With Cocky Comedy •“I don’t know if you are up to it / I don’t know if you can hang〞 •Accuse her of checking you out, and trying to romance you or seduce you •Suggest that she buy you things or take you out somewhere nice if she wants to spend more time with you •5. Body Language •Lean back and relax •Don’t lean in •Don’t turn to face her right away •Make her close the distance How To Take Advantage Of The “Regular Guy〞 Mistakes •Women are so used to seeing the same thing over and over in bars and nightclubs that if you can be different and stand out then you’ll have a HUGE advantageFocus On The Big Picture•People have a tendency to focus on the little things, but bigger results come from focusing on the framework firstA Night Out For A “Regular Guy〞•Shows up in a “wolf pack/cock farm/sausage train/kielbasa cart〞 with a bunch of other guys •Dresses and look the same or similar to else in the bar •Goes out with a “pick up some chicks〞 mentality •Only socializes with the group he came with •Has the same body language and stays in the same spots as everyone else (E.g. leans up against the wall with drink in hand, stands in the “line up〞 at the edge of the dance floor)Improving The Framework •Show up with one friend, by yourself, or with other women •Be up to date with current fashion trends, and wear some unique (but still fashionable) clothing or accessories that give women a reason to come up and talk to you •Go out just to have a great time, without caring about who you meet or whether or not you go home with a woman •Make friends with anyone and everyone at the club (including door guys, bartenders, etc.) to expand your social circle… which in turn expands your opportunities to meet women Ways To Stand Out In Her Mind •Approach her as if you are simply being talkative, and not trying to “pick her up〞 •Act as if she’s the one that’s out to pick up guys, and you aren’t going to fall for her tricks •Show her that your time is valuable and that she better keep you entertained if you’re going to continue talking to her •Be the first to end the interaction •AVOID ALL THINGS ROUTINEBe The Best •Focus on Exponential Results - The more you do differently, the more you will stand out •You’ll discover that when you do ALL of the things that we’ve talked about here, some really interesting things will happen. Women will drop their resistance and be open and willing to have a conversation with you. You’ll also find that women start approaching you •The best part is that after the learning curve has past, doing these things requires LESS effort than being “typical〞… but it will get you far better resultsMaximizing Results •One of the single biggest mistakes guys make in nightclubs is focusing all of their time on one girl •They don’t realize that in a bar or a nightclub, you can meet as many women as you want •Unlike other situations, women usually stick around a club for several hours, so you’re sure to see them again •Meeting a lot of women is important… if it doesn’t work out with one, you’ll have several other options •You’ll also subconsciously come across as more of a challenge because you’ll know that she isn’t your only choiceHere’s How To Do It •When you see a girl (or group of girls) that you’d like to meet, go up to them and get them laughing, or get them engaged in an interesting conversation •Tell them you have to get back to your friends, and maybe you will see them later •Move onto the next girl or group and do the same thingWhat This Does •Builds originality by separating you from the “clingy〞 guys they are used to meeting •Builds social proof •Creates a challenge because you are NOT hitting on them •Creates a familiarity… next time you see them you are old buds! •Builds comfort with her entire group •Remember the “Fishing〞 concept. Essentially what you are doing is throwing bait out to different girls to see which one takes itSome Of My Personal Favorite Opening Lines•Point out something funny that is happening around you both at the club •“Watch it punk〞 •“Whoa!〞 •“Sorry I’m late…〞 •Start a thumb war with herSay Or Do Something Flirty Every Time You See Her –Get her laughing with a joke about something in the club –Tell her she looks like she’s up to something –Tell a short, funny story about something that happened to you –Give her a wink and a smile –Give her a high five –Touch her glass with yours and say “Cheers!〞 –Accuse her of following you, and tell her to stop –The “Name Bet〞 –Every time you see her you’ll build more anticipation and strengthen the challenge –Position yourself in a high-traffic area so you don’t have to “work〞Reeling Her In •Your goal is to get HER to engage YOU in a conversation •Of course some girls are just too shy or “too cool〞, so if you like her go for it (Remember… it’s always on!)Your First Impression Is Your Only Impression•When you start talking to a woman in a bar or a club it’s crucial that your conversation be exciting and entertaining •Unlike a date where you can afford a boring moment, in a club you have to be constantly increasing her attraction for you or she’ll move on to the next guyHow To Turn Her Interest Into Attraction •Routine conversation is bad for attraction •Avoid topics like work, business, politics, religion, and family… even if you find you have a common interest •Don’t talk business!The Right Types Of Conversations •Funny “Ha Ha〞 •Funny “Weird〞 •Controversial •Sexual •Playful and Flirty – NO real conversation going onKeeping It Exciting •If you find yourself entering the “boring zone〞, change the subject fast •If she asks an “interview〞 question, give her a silly answer, and accuse her of trying to pick you up •Don’t be afraid to say, “Ok, enough boring stuff… let’s talk about something more interesting…〞 and change the subject •The subject can be ANYTHING as long as it’s not ROUTINE •(E.g. “What’s your favorite color?〞 . . . “Wrong! It’s red… cause red is the color of romance, and I can tell you are trying to romance me〞)A Few “Fallbacks〞 For Boring Conversations •Find something funny going on around you in the club and point it out, e.g. a guy trying to hit on a girl who’s obviously not into it, a guy who is checking her out, or the guy with the dorkiest outfit •Tell her you’re going to set her up on a date, and pick out some funny looking guys for her in the club. Have her pick out some girls for you. •Tell her to entertain you with a funny story or joke •Play “Favorites〞 •Play the N.A.M.E. Game Making Regular Conversation Interesting •Sometimes you’ll legitimately want to know where she lives or what she does. It’s ok to ask, as long as you do it in a cocky and funny way, and have a cocky and funny answer •Examples: •To find out where she lives: “I bet you live close to a mall, don’t you〞 •To find out where she’s from: “You must not get out much… are you from Delaware or something?〞 •To find out what she does: “So, what do you do? Are you like a tuba player or something? You’ve got “tuba〞 written all over you…〞 •After she laughs, say, “Seriously… Tell me〞… Then of course make fun of her answerEye Contact In Conversation •Your eyes are your MOST POWERFUL means of communication. You can use them to say anything you want, and when you do, it will always be more powerful than the spoken word •Become a master at speaking with your eyes and facial expressions. Start with learning to communicate these basic things: •“You want me〞 “I don’t think so〞 •“Whatever…〞 “You wish〞 •“If only you knew…〞 “Wow〞 •“You’re a weirdo〞 “Tell me more〞 •“You’ve got to be kidding me〞 “You know it!〞Things To Remember•When you make eye contact with someone you are talking to, hold it a half second longer than you should •Too much eye contact during a conversation is just as bad as too little. Keep the right balance. Don’t always stare at them until they break contact, and don’t always break contact first •When breaking eye contact, always do so by looking to the side or above. Breaking eye contact by looking downward signals submissiveness •When you lock eyes with a woman from afar, never be the first to look away. Slightly squint your eyes and give a subtle smile Owning The Conversation•Women will often test you to see if they can “throw you〞 •If you can show her that you are NEVER affected by what she does or says, and you aren’t afraid to call her on it, you’ll gain her respect Examples •If she starts bragging about her new purse, say, “You are such a dork〞 •If she tries to impress you or anyone else by name dropping, bragging about who she knows or how much money guys spend on her, call her out. E.g. if she is bragging about being able to get into any nightclub she wants, say “Wow… you’re like Miss Hollywood… So if I say your name, I can get into pretty much any club I want to, right? Can I have your autograph?〞 •If she asks you to do something for her, say, “What will you give me?〞 If you don’t like her answer, then don’t do it •If you give her a sincere compliment and she tries to brush it off, go with it in a funny way. For instance if you tell her you like her car and she says, “Oh… thanks… it’s a mess right now〞 say, “Yeah, I wasn’t gonna say anything, but…〞 Examples •If you mention you are going somewhere and she says, “Oh I hate that place〞 say, “Well it doesn’t like you either〞 •If she brings up sex, take it to the next level. For example, if she asks you what the craziest place you’ve ever had sex is, answer, then ask her what’s the craziest position she’s ever had sex in. This will surely get a laugh, and she will probably be too shy to answer, so you’ll come out as the “coolest〞 •(Side note: Women will often bring up the topic of sex. One of the reasons they do this is to try to feel you out and see if you’re comfortable with it, and comfortable talking about it… and this is great because many guys will fail this simple test. But I personally also think that women also bring up sex because talking about it gets them turned on, and because they’re thinking about having sex with you!) •A big thing that I’ve learned is that it’s important to adjust your attitude to hers. Be sure to come off as cool and funny, not cynical and arrogant Syncing With Resistance •Attitude up front can be turned into a good thing Handling Her Friends •Girls are ALWAYS at the bar with friends •It’s usually best to address the whole group when you first approach •Don’t try to physically remove her from the group until you are “in〞 with everyone •Don’t force the isolation… it’s not necessary, and often you can hang out with the whole group and isolate her when the bar closesThe Power Of The “Instant Date〞•If your conversation is going good, lead her (with or without her friends) to another part of the club •This subtle move increases her connection with you by making her feel like she’s done something with you •If you can, get her and her friends to come with you to another bar. When you get to the next location you will be there togetherPhysical Conversation Accentuators •Poke her on pinch her lightly on the side when you make fun of her •Put her in a headlock and give her “noogies〞 •Grab her hand, smack it, and say, "The next one's gonna be on your ass, so watch it!" •When you say something sarcastic, instead of smiling to break the tension, turn and bump her with your butt •Poke her in the stomach a la Pillsbury dough boy •Bump her with your arm and say, "Watch it punk“ •At a "high five" moment, make a fist for her to punch instead •Give her "The Claw“ •Say, "Do you like it when guys do this?" and grab her hair right above her neck •Go to kiss her hand, then kiss your own •Go to shake her hand and smack itAttraction Amplifiers •“How well do you know your body?〞 Test •“Do you give good hugs?〞Going For The Kiss •Time it right… make sure you are alone •Make sure the location is right •Use props to get it started and avoid rejectionContinuing The Fun •Invite her to an after-party at your place •Invite her to get some food •Assume the sale •“Wine By Candlelight〞Getting Her Phone Number •Although the goal is to get her to ask you out, usually you’ll have to do some work here… no matter how much she’s into you •When you’re forced to give in and make the move, act a little reluctant, as though you’re doing her a favor Examples: •“I guess…Only if〞 – “I guess you can come with me… but only if you promise to behave •“I’ll tell you what〞 – “I’ll tell you what… put your number in my phone, and maybe I’ll take you there sometime… if you think you can handle it that is…〞 •“Now don’t…〞 – (After you exchange numbers) “Now don’t you be calling me after 2:00am〞Other Ways To Get Her Number •Memorize it •Have her track down a pen and paper and write it down for you •Have her put your number in her phone, and call you so you have hersDon’ts •Don’t say “Can I call you?〞, “Can I get your number?〞 •Don’t use the word “date〞 unless you’re talking about her trying to take you on one •Don’t tell her when you’re going to call Your LAST CHANCE! •Your last chance happens after last call •Hang out near the door… you will probably see that elusive girl again •Get her numberWorking The Club •Getting in free •Getting on the internal/external guest list •Befriending the doorman •Befriending the bartender/Getting free drinksStarting Out •Find out which clubs and bars are hot in your area •Watch the guys that are with the hot girls… pay attention to how they carry themselves and what they are wearing •Greet doormen, and find one bartender at each club •Find a “spot〞 in each club where you like to hang out •Talk to and befriend as many people as you possibly can •Test out some things you wouldn’t normally do. Make it your point to see how far you can go without getting rejected… •Keep a journal •Have fun!。