读后续写：挽救中风的老太太

1、读后续写：挽救中风的老太太题目：Located in Muskegon Heights, Michigan, Edgewood Elementary School has set up a crisis response system that goes smoothly there. It has direct connection with agencies such as hospitals, the police station. Many teachers there have given their personal phone numbers to students and families in case they need extra help as well. Theres no doubt that the primary school is famous for its quickness in emergency response.In the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, Julia Smith began what was

2、 only her second year as a first grade teacher in a virtual classroom at the school. One September afternoon a few weeks into the school, she received a call from Mary White, who was having technical difficulties with her granddaughters tools for online learning.Julia immediately knew something was wrong with Mary. The two women had spoken numerous times before, but Julia had never heard the grandmother sound quite like this. Her words were in such disorder that Julia could barely understand her

3、, though she was able to make out that Mary had fallen four times that day. Was she going to have a stroke（中风）? Julia wondered.Julia called her principal, Charlie Green, telling him her concern. From Julia, Green knew that Marys two grandchildren, aged four and six, were probably home alone with her-the kids parents were killed in a traffic accident several years ago and now she was their primary guardian. Green assured her that he would call and check on Mary himself. Yet Julia still felt worri

4、ed, so she grabbed the handbag, rushing out.Just like Julia, Green could barely understand Mary, but he was able to make out the word Kids. It called up his memories of his own father, who had suffered a stroke. Green still vividly remembered the symptoms-sudden headaches, confusion, different vision, difficulty speaking and unexpected falls-that his father had experienced. Mary must be having a stroke, Green thought to himself.He realized it was an emergency.When Green and the other two teacher

5、s reached the familys home less than ten minutes later, seeing what was happening, they sighed in relief. 审题：He realized it was an emergency.矛盾冲突 + 解决 = 情节走向 （螺旋式or渐进式？）所以P1必须解决部分的问题。设计：什么场景？哪些人物？采取了什么措施？得到了什么样的回应？解决了哪部分问题？When Green and the other two teachers reached the familys home less than ten minutes later, seeing what was happening, they sighed in relief.设计：什么场景？哪些人物？最后问题得到了解决吗？如何解决的？ 怎么使用伏笔？如何安排好前文中各个人物的行为和结局？结尾怎么与前文的首段呼应？研读范文：Green realized it was an emergency. （担心/所想）Mary might faint a

6、t any time. If she couldnt receive timely help, she would suffer severe brain damage, or even die, which would definitely scare her two grandchildren. （行动/所做）Concerned that she was in such a critical situation where every minute counted for her life, he immediately called the hospital to find her an ambulance. (得到反应)After being informed of what was going on, two teachers dropped everything without delay, climbed into Greens car and set off.When Green and the other two teachers reached the family

7、s home less than ten minutes later, seeing what was happening, they sighed in relief. （所看）Everything was well in order. （反应）The doctors were giving first aid to Mary, pressing on her chest. （反应）The two kids looked visibly shaken, close to tears.（反应） Beside them stood Julia, holding them in her arms and comforting them. （评价）Fortunately enough, the quick response from Julia and Green saved Marys life. （矛盾解决）When she came to herself, she was lifted to the ambulance and rushed to the hospital. Every

8、bodys face brightened up as the ambulance faded away.(呼应首段Due to the emergency response system and the love of those committed teachers, all the efforts were worth it.) 本次写作心得：先“读”，后“写”。读时，要划出每一段的人物，概括主要情节，续写时将其作为伏笔。续写的首句，规定场景和主人公视角。可能两段为两个不同场景。续写，应安排好前文所有人物。结尾，最好与原文首段呼应。结尾，必须解决了主人公需解决的问题（人身安全、学习/工作/生活的困难、狭隘或错误的认知等）但无需添加人物或横生枝节。补充：读信息：P1 学校建立了快速的紧急反应系统（伏笔，下文必须用到）P2-3 Julia老师发现Mary有中风前兆（语言组织混乱disorder，多次摔跤）(并非网络信号不好，语音断断续续)P4 Green校长接到汇报，保证等会亲自去她家里查看。但Julia依然担心，认为刻不容缓，她抓起包，冲了出去（所以她是最早行动起来帮助的人）。P5 Green校长确认Mary一定快要中风，因为他过世的父亲之前就有这样的症状（Mary中风基本可以确定是事实，而不是虚惊，也只有这样，前文的种种铺垫才有必要）学科网（北京）股份有限公司

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