幽默英文小笑话.docx

幽默英文小笑话 篇一：英语幽默小笑话 英语幽默小笑话：Goldfish 金鱼 Stan: I won 92 goldfish. 斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼 Fred: Where are you going to keep them? 弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？ Stan: In the bathroom. 斯丹：浴室 Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath? 弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？ Stan: Blindfold〔蒙眼睛〕 them! 斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！ 英语单词讲解： blindfold vt. (作名词时意思是眼罩) 1. (用布或带)蒙住…的眼睛；蒙住(眼睛)： The victim was blindfolded. 受害者被蒙住了眼睛 to blindfold the hostage 蒙住人质的眼睛 2. 阻碍视力；遮住(或拦住)…的视线： The tall man in the front blindfolded me. 前面的高个子男人拦住了我的视线。

3. 使不理解，使失去识别实力(或判定力、觉察力)；使模糊不清；使迟钝；使迷惑；蒙骗： to blindfold you to the true purpose of her invitation 被蒙蔽而看不出她邀你的真正目的 英语幽默小对话 1】A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday? I gave it to a poor old woman, he answered. Youre a good boy, said the mother proudly. Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman? She is the one who sells the candy. 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他答复说 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈傲慢地说再给你两分钱可你为什么对那位老太太那么感爱好呢？” “她是个卖糖果的 篇二：英语幽默小笑话六篇 ? 英语幽默小笑话六篇 ? frog 青蛙 Frog The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, Now Iapos;ll show you this frog in my pocket. He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich. He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said, Thatapos;s funny. I distinctly remember eating my lunch. 教师正在给学生上生物课：“此时此刻，我将要给你们看我袋子里的这只青蛙接着，他把手伸进口袋，却拿出了一份鸡肉三文治。

教师满脸困惑地看了一眼，深思了一会儿，说道：“真惊奇我明明记得我已经把午饭吃掉了 人们什么时候说话最少？ Teacher: What is the plural of man,Tom? 教师: 汤姆，“男人”这个词的复数形式是什么? Tom: Men. 汤姆:男人们 Teacher: Good. And the plural of child? 教师: 答得好那“孩子”的复数形式呢? Tom : Twins. 汤姆: 双胞胎 谁欠谁钱 A lawyerapos;s dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyerapos;s office and asks, If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dogapos;s owner? The lawyer answers, Absolutely. Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today. The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $250 due for a consultation. 律师的狗，没有拴而到处闲逛，它来到一家肉店，偷走了一块 烤肉。

店主来到律师的办公室，问道“假如一条没栓的狗从我的商店里偷了块肉，我有权利从狗的主子那里要回损失吗？律师答道：“完全可以”，“那你欠我 8.50美元，你的狗没栓而且今日从我的店里头了块肉”，律师什么都没说，立刻给他写了一张支票一些天后，店主翻开邮箱，发觉一封来自律师的信，信上写 道：询问费250美元I Have His Ear in My Pocket I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, What happened? A kid bit me, replied Ivan. Would you recognize him if you saw him again? asked his mother. Iapos;d know him any where, said Ivan. I have his ear in my pocket. 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。

“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问 “他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢 Give up your seat to a lady给女士让座 Little Johnny says Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Youapos;ve done the right thing, says Mommy. But Mommy, I was sitting on daddyapos;s lap. 小强尼说：“妈妈，今日早上和爸爸在公车上时，他叫我让座给一位女士 妈妈说：“你做得很对呀 “但是，妈妈，我是坐在爸爸膝盖上的 What Was It She Wanted？ A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer．“No，ma’am， we havenapos;t had any for a while， and it doesnapos;t look asif weapos;ll be getting soon．” Horrified，the manager came runningover to the customer and said，“Of course， weapos;ll have somesoon， We placed an order last week．” Then the manager drewthe clerk aside：“Never， never， never say we are out of anything—say weapos;ve got it on order and itapos;s coming． Now whatwas it she wanted？” “Rain．” said the clerk． 一个商店经理听见一个店员对顾客说：“不，夫人，这会儿没有，一时半会儿看来也不会有。

经理惊慌万分地跑到顾客跟前说：“当然，立刻就会有的我们上周订了货然后经理把店员拉到一边：“千万，千万，千万不要说我们没有什么——说我们已经订了货，货立刻就到此时此刻你说她要买什么？” “雨，”店员说 篇三：英语小笑话 集锦 英语幽默小笑话 1、Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.”What did you do with the money 〔that/which/不填〕I gave you yesterday?” “I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered. “You are a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?” “She is the one who sells the candy.” 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆。

他答复说你真是一个好孩子，”妈妈傲慢地说. “再给你两分钱可你为什么对那位老太太那么感爱好？” “她是个卖糖果的 2、Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,”What happened?” “A kid bit me,”replied Ivan. “Would you recognize him if you saw him again?”asked his mother. “I?d know him any where,”said Ivan.”I have his ear in my po。