老友记第一季01剧本.docx

《Friends》剧本（第一季）101 The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate (The Pilot-The Uncut Version)[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with! 没什么好说的！她但是是我的同事！Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him! 少来了，你和那个人一起出去！和你交往的男人一定有问题！Chandler: All right Joey, be nice.  So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece? 打住，乔伊，最下留德她驼背？即驼背又戴假发？Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk? 慢着，她吃粉笔吗？(They all stare, bemused.)Phoebe: Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh! 我只是不想你重蹈我和卡尔的覆辙Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex. 各位别急，这不算是约会。

我们但是是出去一起吃晚餐，而不是做爱Chandler: Sounds like a date to me. 听起来像是说我的约会[Time Lapse]Chandler: Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked. 记得中学时代的梦， 我站在自助餐厅， 忽然发现自己全身赤裸All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream. 我做过那样的梦Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize there's a phone... there. 我低头一看， 看见有一支……在那儿Joey: Instead of...? 而不是……？Chandler: That's right. 没错Joey: Never had that dream. 我没做过那样的梦Phoebe: No. 没有Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me. 那支忽然响起， 而我不懂得怎么办， 每个人都开始望着我。

Monica: And they weren't looking at you before?! 她们此前不看你吗？Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it, and it turns out it's my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me! 成果是我妈打来， 我感到很奇怪， 由于我妈不曾打过给我！[Time Lapse, Ross has entered.]Ross: (mortified) Hi. 嗨Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself. 这家伙向我打招呼时我就想自杀Monica: Are you okay, sweetie? 你还好吧？Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck... 我感觉有人把手伸入我的喉咙 抓起我的肠子， 从我的口中取出， 然后绑在我脖子上……Chandler: Cookie? 要 饼干吗？Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today. 卡罗今天把她的东西搬走了Joey: Ohh.Monica: (to Ross) Let me get you some coffee. 我帮你泡杯咖啡， 谢了。

Ross: Thanks.Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)Ross: No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay? 不要……别清理我的灵气可是……别碰我的灵气就是了Phoebe: Fine!  Be murky! 好,继续痛苦吧Ross: I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy. 没有！！行了吧？！真的，各位，我但愿她开心Monica: No you don't. 不，你并不但愿Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me! 是的，我不但愿！去她的，她离开了我！Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian... 并且你始终都不懂得她是女同性恋者。

Ross: No!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I know? 不懂得！行了吧！为什么每个人都提它？她都不懂得，我怎么会懂得？Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... (They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud? 有时候我但愿自己是个同性恋……我大声说出来了？Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well. 我昨天晚上给我父母说了，她们仿佛没有什么Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., "I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren." was what?  A wrong number? 真的吗，凌晨三点我接到一种， 一种女人歇斯底里的向我哭诉， “我不能抱孙子了， 我不能抱孙子了。

那是什么？打错了Ross: Sorry. 对不起Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is? 没事的，罗斯，瞧，你目前感到很痛苦你很气愤，你很伤心，我告诉你答案是什么？(Ross gestures his consent.)Joey: Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones! 脱衣舞酒店 你独身，有性需求Ross: I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married again! 我不想独身的 我只想再结婚Rachel enters in a wet wedding dress and starts to search the room.)Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.) 我只想要一百万！Monica: Rachel?! 瑞秋？Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! Thank God! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are! 天啊，莫妮卡，谢天谢地。

我到过你的住处，你不在 有个拿着一根大榔头的人说你也许会在这儿， 成果你真的在这儿Waitress: Can I get you some coffee? 想来杯咖啡吗？Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross? 想来杯咖啡吗？ 无咖啡因的 各位，她叫瑞秋， 另一位从林肯高中生存下来的人这位叫钱德勒， 菲比，乔伊 还记得我哥罗斯吗？Rachel: Hi, sure! 固然 Ross: Hi. 嗨(They go to hug but Ross's umbrella opens.  He sits back down defeated again.  A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to explain.)Monica: So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids? 。