《人在囧途》剧本台词.txt

000:00:01,000 00:00:06,000== 字幕制作：M ==100:00:51,320 00:00:54,232使我相信一切都是命运的安排200:00:54,840 00:00:56,910也许上天早就注定300:00:57,120 00:01:00,351“冥冥之中牵引着我们一起走过”400:01:01,120 00:01:02,951现在我想说的是500:01:03,880 00:01:06,917我上辈子到底造了什么孽啊600:01:08,600 00:01:11,114全国动漫市场这么火爆700:01:11,440 00:01:14,238你们居然拿出这样的销售业绩给我看800:01:15,440 00:01:17,510你的智商真的很提神900:01:18,480 00:01:21,597而小张 , 你今年还是有进步的1000:01:21,760 00:01:23,398去年你是弱智1100:01:23,440 00:01:25,715今年晋级为愚蠢了1200:01:27,000 00:01:28,319而关于你1300:01:28,520 00:01:31,592我一直觉得世界上有两种人最吸引人1400:01:31,880 00:01:34,314一种是那种长得很漂亮的人1500:01:34,480 00:01:36,471还有一种人就是你1600:01:39,160 00:01:41,116谢谢你让我体会到1700:01:41,160 00:01:43,628头发长见识短是一个真理1800:01:44,640 00:01:46,676春节以后你 上 了1900:01:47,080 00:01:49,196, 这是我的 信2000:01:50,360 00:01:53,875这是你 年 得最 的一个 定2100:02:00,000 00:02:03,515相 年, 今年的春运 得 早2200:02:03,880 00:02:06,440火 一 2300:02:07,040 00:02:09,600看 , 今年想 过年2400:02:09,600 00:02:11,636, 定 2500:02:14,240 00:02:17,710你说 去 , 这 都是¡定的¢2600:02:17,880 00:02:22,120你看 , £⁄是⁄这个¥ƒ的§currency12700:02:22,120 00:02:25,510你看 , 都是这'“«‹›的2800:02:25,720 00:02:27,676全国fifl –场都†‡了2900:02:27,800 00:02:30,917¡这 –· 着 , ¶• ‚„了3000:02:31,640 00:02:33,870”以 , 我»有ƒ给你啊3100:02:34,400 00:02:37,676你说这 , 你 给ƒ你给什么…‰3200:02:38,040 00:02:41,555们都¿了一年 是为了这`ƒcurrency13300:02:41,600 00:02:44,717你现在´我说什么都ˆ就是 提ƒ3400:02:44,840 00:02:45,590⁄ 这样3500:02:45,680 00:02:48,433你们˜个¯那个–牵走一头˘了˙了3600:02:48,480 00:02:49,993ƒ我 定 有3700:02:50,200 00:02:53,192你说这¨ , 你这 是 ˚人¸3800:02:53,400 00:02:54,549我 么 ˚你了3900:02:54,640 00:02:57,279我˝˛你最后一ˇ “有还是 有”4000:02:57,320 00:02:59,629我也最后说一ˇ “ 有”4100:03:02,320 00:03:03,514你们—什么4200:03:03,640 00:03:04,789有还是 有4300:03:04,840 00:03:06,353我真的 有ƒ了4400:03:06,480 00:03:08,277信你看啊 , 你看你看4500:03:08,760 00:03:10,876 的 我 ƒ4600:03:10,920 00:03:11,830还有这个4700:03:11,880 00:03:14,640长 的 我两 ƒ4800:03:14,640 00:03:16,471还有这个 都的 4900:03:16,600 00:03:18,318我 ƒ啊5000:03:18,360 00:03:19,679我真的 有ƒ了5100:03:19,720 00:03:22,996你们有 §,你们 去⁄去啊5200:03:26,480 00:03:32,999到长 , 5300:03:33,400 00:03:34,6285400:03:37,600 00:03:40,876, 的这是 5500:03:42,400 00:03:45,800我就 Æ 了你为 ª⁄那张长 的5600:03:45,800 00:03:48,314那张 都的 »5700:03:48,560 00:03:49,9595800:03:50,480 00:03:52,914一 们fiflƒ5900:03:53,040 00:03:55,952¡们Ł个人一 Ø起 Œ两 ƒ6000:03:56,040 00:03:57,712你´人⁄ 6100:03:57,840 00:03:59,159那¡ 了6200:03:59,760 00:04:02,399我给你说啊, 人 以 º 6300:04:04,440 00:04:06,396得 6400:04:20,080 00:04:22,469给你 currency16500:04:28,280 00:04:31,909你今年过年 了你在这currency1æ我过年 6600:04:32,120 00:04:35,396的§currency1, 你ı ¨´你 说 6700:04:35,600 00:04:37,591这§currency1 ¨ł 么说得øœß6800:04:37,760 00:04:40,194我 年 一 6900:04:40,400 00:04:42,118你 得让我看看 currency1 7000:04:43,160 00:04:45,628那我过年去看你7100:04:45,880 00:04:46,756—¢7200:04:46,920 00:04:48,148给你拜年啊7300:04:48,520 00:04:51,910顺便看看你 孩子, ı个招呼7400:04:52,440 00:04:53,919真的假的7500:04:54,080 00:04:55,752你觉得ß7600:04:56,240 00:04:58,913›了 , 初 我就 接你7700:05:01,160 00:05:02,275么了7800:05:03,800 00:05:05,199我,怀孕了7900:05:05,600 00:05:06,749会 8000:05:07,800 00:05:10,872真的 , 我今天早上刚验出 的8100:05:16,200 00:05:18,919看¯你吓的脸都 了8200:05:18,960 00:05:21,520哎呀 ›了 , 我 及了8300:05:41,360 00:05:43,271么会 是头等舱ß8400:05:43,320 00:05:46,232对 起先生, 您定的是•济舱的 8500:05:46,600 00:05:48,720你˝看一眼, 会 会是公务舱ß8600:05:48,720 00:05:51,029对 起先生, 的 是•济舱8700:05:51,080 00:05:52,638脑就是这样显示的8800:05:52,680 00:05:54,511那我؃好 , 升舱ˆ ˆ8900:05:54,680 00:05:57,592对 起先生头等舱和商务舱都¶•客满了9000:05:57,680 00:05:58,874给我一个靠窗的座位9100:05:58,920 00:06:01,593对 起先生, 这ł是办理头等舱的9200:06:01,720 00:06:03,836•济舱在那面9300:06:05,240 00:06:07,629先生, 您的ˆ 需⁄托运¸9400:06:07,880 00:06:09,359我看你的ˆ 较fi9500:06:09,400 00:06:12,233-还是托运的 较好- § §, 我这有劲currency1拎得动9600:06:12,400 00:06:15,392那好的 , 这是您的飞机 9700:06:16,960 00:06:18,951这是到长 的¸9800:06:19,200 00:06:21,031这个就是到长 的9900:06:21,600 00:06:23,760那我这个是站 还是坐 10000:06:23,760 00:06:25,671飞机都是坐 10100:06:26,520 00:06:27,953谢谢您, ,慢走10200:06:29,040 00:06:30,029功10300:06:30,120 00:06:31,758月台在»currency1ß10400:06:32,080 00:06:33,149小伙子, 小伙子10500:06:33,200 00:06:35,031这是飞机场 , 有月台的10600:06:35,720 00:06:38,678拿着你的登机牌, 还有身份证10700:06:38,760 00:06:41,513看到 有, 到那边先去过安检10800:06:42,680 00:06:46,434登机口2b , 座位号13c , 去 , ˝见10900:06:48,200 00:06:49,838哥, 这2b咋走ß11000:06:50,000 00:06:52,753先过安检, 过了安检你就找到2b了 , 去 11100:06:53,600 00:06:54,430谢谢啊11200:06:57,560 00:06:59,790你这个也 让我带, 你这也 让我带11300:06:59,960 00:07:01,791这些ˆ 还让我去托运11400:07:01,880 00:07:03,871ˆ, 我答应你我一会currency1就去托运去11500:07:03,960 00:07:07,111是我这瓶– , 为什么就 让带11600:07:07,200 00:07:09,520好‰思先生, 根据民航局的规定11700:07:09,520 00:07:11,670液体一律 准带上飞机11800:07:11,840 00:07:14,912我们坐火 这些都让带, 坐飞机为…11900:07:14,960 00:07:17,269好‰思 , 这真的 带上飞机12000:07:17,320 00:07:19,595如果您坚持⁄带上飞机的¨12100:07:19,640 00:07:22,359那您 以´着你的菜刀一起下去托运12200:07:22,400 00:07:24,231或者现在您就 以喝掉12300:07:24,280 00:07:27,317先生, 麻烦您¯这些东西收拾一下赶紧下去托运12400:07:27,360 00:07:30,35。