有英语写一篇幽默故事.docx

本文格式为Word版，下载可任意编辑有英语写一篇幽默故事 篇一：英语幽默小故事6篇 1、Good use of cry 哭的妙用 The parents with their three-year-old son went to see film. When they walked into the cinema, the attendant said to them, “you’ll have to go out if your son cries. But we’ll refund you the tickets.” About half an hour later, the husband asked his wife, “What do you think of the film?” “I’ve never seen such a boring film.” His wife answered. “It’s not worth seeing.” “I don’t think much of it, either.” The husband said. “Wake the child up and let him cry.” 一对夫妇带着他们3岁的儿子去看电影。

进电影院时，服务员对他们说：“假设你们的儿子哭了，你们就得出去不过我们会给你们退票的大约半个小时以后，丈夫对妻子说：“你觉得这电影怎么样？”“我从没看过这么没劲的电影妻子回复说，“真不值得看我也不热爱看丈夫说：“叫醒孩子，让他哭 2、What a Smart Wife家有笨妻 A newly married woman was sitting on a chair, looking vexed, when her husband came home. Whats up? Why do you look so troubled? the husband asked. The woman replied, Im so sorry. I was ironing your new suit and burned a hole in your trousers. And the man said, Thats all right. I have another pair that is exactly the same. Thank God you do. I used it to mend this pair, the wife responded. 有一个刚结婚的太太，坐在椅子那边，看起来很懊恼，她先生回家看到她这个样子，就问：‘嗨，你怎么啦？为什么看起来这么懊恼呢？’太太说：‘很歉仄，你那件新做的西装裤被我烫坏了，烫成一个洞了。

’他先生说：‘啊！那个没关系啦！我还有另外一件一样的裤子’ 她说：‘是啊，还好我把那件新的拿出来补那件被我烫坏的’ 3、Endearing terms 英语幽默故事:心爱的称呼 Bernie was invited to his friends home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, That is really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, and you keep calling your wife those pet names. Morris hung his head and whispered, To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago. Bernie应邀来到他的挚友Morris家吃晚餐。

在挚友家，Bernie察觉，不管问他老婆什么问题，Morris总要在每句话的前面加上一些亲近的称呼，象蜜糖，我的爱人，爱戴的，甜心等等Bernie对Morris说，“你们夫妻俩真够亲近的，结婚这么多年了，你还叫她叫得那么亲近Morris低下头，小声地对Bernie说，“忠厚跟你说吧，三年前我忘却老婆的真名是什么了 4、Are you a normal person？你是正常人吗？ During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director ..., What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized? Well... said the director, we fill up a bathtub, and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub. Oh, I understand, said the visitor. A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup. Noooooooo! answered the director. A normal person would pull the plug. 参观一所精神病院的时候一个参观者问院长，“你们是用什么标准来抉择一个人是否理应被关进精神病院呢？” “呃? ?”院长说，“是这样，我们先给一个浴缸放满水，然后我们给病人一个调茶匙，一个茶杯和一个水桶去把浴缸里面的水放清。

“噢，我明白了”， 参 观者说一个正常人会选择水桶， 由于水桶比茶匙，茶杯的体积大 “错了”，“院长回复”“正常人会把浴缸塞子拔掉” 5、英文幽默老虎来了 Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them. One of the guys takes out a pair of Nikes from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those? His friend replies: I dont have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you. 两个男人正在穿过丛林，突然，一只老虎展现在远处，向他们冲来。

其中的一个人从包里拿出一双“耐克”鞋，开头穿上另一个人诧异地看着他说，“你以为穿上这个就可以跑得过老虎吗？” 他的挚友回复道：“我不用跑得过它，我只要跑得比你快就行了 6、Another 40 Years to live 再活40年 A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live. Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, lip-suction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even had someone come in and change her hair color, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it. She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, I thought you said I had another 40 Years? God replied, I didnt recognize you. 一名中年妇女心脏病突发被送到了医院， 在手术台上，濒临死亡之际，她看到了上帝， 于是，她问上帝是不是她的日子到头了。

上帝回复说，“还没有，你还能活43年，2个月零8天 身体快要康复的时候，这名女士想到自己还要活那么多年，得好好对待自己，于是抉择先不出院，而是去给自己整整容，吸吸脂，隆隆胸，然后还做了一个腹部拉皮和其它一些美容美体手术 她甚至还请人到医院里面帮她头发给染了 做完结果一个手术，这位女士出院了， 但就在过马路的时候，她被一辆风驰电挚赶回医院的救治车给撞死了 再一次，她又站到了上帝的面前，她大惑不解地问上帝，“我记得你说我还能再活40年？” 上帝回复，“那个时候我没认出你来” 篇二：英语经典幽默故事 My First and My Last When George was thirty-five, he bought a small plane and learned to fly it. He soon became very good and made his plane do all kinds of tricks. George had a friend. His name was Mark. One day George offered to take Mark up in his plane. Mark thought, Ive travelled in a big plane several times, but Ive never been in a small one, so Ill go. They went up, and George flew around for half an hour and did all kinds of tricks in the air. When they came down again, Mark was very glad t。