成年人交朋友的5个贴士

1、成年人交朋友的5个贴士5 tips for making new friends as an adultCan you really make new friends as an adult? I mean, theres plenty advice out there on how to help kids make friends. But if you dont have friends by the time youre an adult, it seems the world hands you a dunce cap and shows you to the corner.作为一种成年人，你真的可以结交新朋友吗？我是说，小孩可以获得多种交友建议。但是如果成年了的你还没有任何朋友，似乎是这世界给了你一顶傻瓜帽，然后你戴着它站在墙角。After all, many adults have all the friends they need or want, right? People get married, have kids and have little time for

2、 others outside their family. Doesnt that make it harder to meet new people after a certain age?毕竟，大多的成年人都会有她们需要或者想要的朋友，对吧？人们结婚，生子，没有时间出去交际应酬。如此一来在到了某个年龄段交友是不是变得越来越难？Well, yes and no. Depending on your geographic location, yes, many people “settle down” after a certain age. But not everyone. And while it may take a little more time to “warm up” a new friend as an adult, it can certainly be done.固然，是与否。取决于你的地理位置，若是，由于大多数人到了某个年龄都会安定下来。但并非每个人都会那样。也许成年人需要多花点时间去熟络新朋友，最后肯定会成功。In fact, many of the tech

3、niques kids instinctively use to make friends on the playground work for ages 4 thru 104. So here are 5 habits of highly social children that can help you make friends even if youre way past your school days.事实上，小孩在运动场上常用的交友技巧普遍合用于4岁-104岁的人。因此，下面善于交际的小孩的5个习惯可以协助你去结识朋友，虽然你已经辞别学生时代。1.LEVERAGE CURRENT SOCIAL ASSETS1.充足运用既有的社会资源I remember back in Kindergarten (before I got awkward), I would make friends through other friends. One buddy might have a birthday party where Id meet other kids. Some would

4、 become new friends. Its not quite as easy as an adult, but the same principle applies. First ask yourself, who are you already around on a normal basis? This might include:我还记得在幼儿园的时候（在交友技巧变拙劣前），我可以通过别人结识新朋友。某个伙伴开派对，我们就可以在派对上结交其她的小孩。其中某些就会成为朋友。这对成年人来说不怎么容易，但道理都同样。一方面，问问你自己平常都跟谁在一块？也许涉及：Then, be aware of invites from these “social assets” and say yes to birthday parties, reunions, holiday events, after work drinks, company picnics, etc. At these events, youll likely meet new people who are frien

5、ds of friends or family.然后，要对这些社会资源有所意识，积极对她们的邀请做出回应，像生日派对，会餐活动，假日活动，下班小酌，公司野餐等等。出席了这些活动，你就也许碰见来自朋友或家人的朋友。2.GO TO INTEREST GROUPS, NOT BARS2.加入爱好组织，而非酒吧Some kids are really active going to gymnastics, band, theater and more. Ideally, these are activities the kids enjoy. And there lies the magic. You have a group of kids, all doing something they love, together. Thats where the bonding comes. Theres seldom any shared activity or interest in a bar. The common thread in bars, if there is any, is pe

6、ople go there to socialize. So, the greatest “socializers” win. If you arent that comfortable socializing, you strike out. Instead, why not go somewhere you know the people will share your interests? For example, if youre interested in writing, its a good bet members in a writers group will be too. So you have an instant connection with them and a built in topic to start conversations.某些小孩在去练体操，组乐队，看戏剧.时她们会显得特别活跃。其实，这些活动都是小孩们真正享有的。妙就妙在这里，一群小孩由于她们共同的爱好而聚在一起。这个共同点将她们连在一起。若在酒吧就不会有这样的共同爱好活动了。硬要说有的话，

7、那就是人们都是到这里来社交的。因此，肯定是“交际家”取胜。为什么不到一种有共同爱好的地方去呢？如果你喜欢写作，加入作家协会将是个不错的选择。这样你就可以与她们保持联系，然后制造一种话题开始讨论。3.FIGURE OUT YOUR MOST IMPORTANT VALUES3.结识你最闪光的价值Another reason kids make friends easily is they have a lot in common. Kids believe:小孩交友容易的另一种因素就是她们有太多共通点。她们相信：Playing is important玩耍很重要Slides are cool滑滑板很酷Candy is good吃糖是好事Its not so clear cut with adults is it? Weve developed our likes and dislikes over time. But the playground rules still apply: You connect deeply with others by having similar val

8、ues to them. Now, of course you shouldnt go adopting values and beliefs just to fit in. No, you figure out the things most important to you then express them in your words and actions. Yes, this means you might turn off some people who dont share your values. But youre more likely to connect with those who do.成年人的喜好就迥然不同了对吧？通过岁月的洗礼我们都会养成喜欢这个或讨厌那个的习惯。但操场规则仍然生效：通过相似的价值观，你能跟别人从内心深处去交往。目前，你固然没必要刻意去迎逢别人的价值观和信奉。但是，你要结识出对你来说最重要的东西，然后用你的语言和行为体现出来。的确，这样会将不同价值观的人拒之门外。但你也更有也许结交志同道合之人。4.GO TO THE SAME PLACE

9、 AT THE SAME TIME4.固定期间去同一地点Kids in school see each other every day in the classroom, on the playground, on the bus. It becomes easier to notice, get to know, and eventually like Mary or Jake when you see them so often. For adults, repeat exposure and time spent together still work wonders. Try going to the following on the same days of the week at the same time of day:学校里的孩子每天都可以在教室、操场、巴士上碰面。久而久之这样就更容易注意对方，理解对方，甚至是喜欢上对方。对于成年人来说，提高会面的频率和时间，同样可以产生如此奇迹。试着在一周的某天或某天的同一时间去固定的地方：A local coffee shop本地咖啡店The gym体育场A low-key local pub (not a club or hoppin bar)低调的本地酒吧（不是俱乐部或很“嗨”的酒吧）There may be others who visit at those same times also. Plus, the staff will start to recognize you. Over time, you can get to know them and theyll become comfortable with you from the mere-exposure effect.那里也许也会有其她人在这个时间浮现。此外，工作人员也会开始注意你。时间久了，你就会理解她们，她们也会因单纯曝光效果而跟你熟络起来。5.SHARE MORE ABOUT YOURSELF5.更

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