2009年高考北京卷情景作文评析.pdf

日常生活密切 相关内容为某学校学生参加植树活动的过 程该题型是传统题型，很多学生都曾经练 习过类似题目只要考生能够把握文章时 态，包含图中要点，逻辑清晰，语句通顺，就 能拿到不错的分数请看题目要求： 假设你是红星中学高三(1)班的学生李 华．为响应绿化祖国的号召，你班四月十二 日去郊区植树请根据以下四幅图的先后顺 序，介绍植树活动的全过程，给某英文杂志 的“绿色行动”专栏写一篇以“Green Action in Our Class”为题的英文稿件 注意：词数不少于6O 提示词：郊区suburbs 我们先来审题：这是一篇记叙文；人称 是第一人称：时态为一般过去时内容要点 依次为：1．骑车去植树；2．植树；3．安插提 示牌；4．照相；5．感想 北京卷情景作文评析 第六十二中学宗华 二、评分原则 1．本题总分为20分，按5个档次给分 2．评分时．先根据文章的内容和语言质 初步确定其档次，然后以该档次的要求来 量，确定或调整档次，最后给分 3．评分时应考虑：内容要点上下文的 贯词汇和句式的多样性及语言的准确 4．拼写、标点符号或书写影响内容表达 时，应视其影响程度予以考虑英、美拼写及 词汇用法均可接受。

5．词数少于60，从总分中减去1分 不抄题目不扣分 自我介绍部分忽略 不写结尾f感想1减一分 三、考生作文 下面我们来看几篇考生的典型作文 例文1：I’m Li Hua，a student from Se． nior Three，Class One of Hongxing Middle Schoo1．In order to beautify our environment， we held a meetinging--planting trees in sub- urbs． On April 12nd，our class happily set out together to approach the forest．The sun was shining brightly and the flowers along the road were beautiful，which made everyone smile sweetly．After the arrival，boys got down to planting quickly，while girls helping water the trees．Despite our tiredness，we worked happily．Thanks to the great efforts，we fin- ished the plan on time and made a board say— ing“Please protect the trees．”Finally，we took some photos to memorize this unforget— table event． From this experience，we not only en— joyed a happy thing，but also made a contri· bution to the environment．Therefore，we were 13 嘲 14 very satisfied indeed． 覆盖所有内容要点，有细节支撑．用词 准确，使用语句间连接成分，语法错误较 少。

开头自我介绍非稿件题材所要求内容， 但此次阅卷中忽略不计17分 例文2：In order to do some good deeds to help to improve our environment，our class organized an activity to plant trees in suburbs． Early in the morning，April 12th，I together with my fellowmates rode to the suburbs．The sun shone upon us and the wind blew swiftly above the growing trees．Finally，we arrived at our destination． Soon after thatwe ran into actions．Some of us dug holes on the ground， and it was some of us’s duty to carrying the little trees and place the roots of them in the holes and cover them with earth．Girls made contributions to watering the little trees． ter couples of hours’hard— work。

little trees were all planted．We also put a board into the ground．On the board we wrote a notice said‘Please protect trees’，which was also our purpose of this journey． At the end of our action， Some people helped carrying the small trees． Some people planted trees．Others watered the trees that had been planted．After that，we set up a sign reads“Protecting the trees”beside the trees．Finally，we stood beside the sign with big smile and our monitor took a photo of you．Tired but happy，we finished our action． I like this activity not only because it’s good for environment，but also because it’s educa- tiona1．I’d like to take part in the same action next tjme． 很好完成任务，行文流畅表达自然丰 富，极少量的语言错误。

l5分 例文4： photos of us were taken in order to let this meaningful action remain in our minds forev— er． Regardless of tiredness and tough work， we went home with satisfaction． 覆盖所有内容要点，有细节描述，句式 和词汇比较丰富，准确，所写内容连贯，结 构紧凑，体现了较强的语言运用能力l6分 例文3：I’m Li Hua from class one se． nior three of Red Star Middle Schoo1．On April 1 2th，our class went to suburbs to plant trees in order to green our country． We got up early that day and to suburbs by bike happily．When we arrived，we soon took actions．We worked into difierent groups． As a student of Grade Three，we are heavy burdened with lots of homework，but sometimes we also have a rest and get close to our Mother Nature． Early in the morning of April，12th，we set out to the countryside by bicycle，wearing big smiles on our face．When we got there，we hurriedly to do our work as planned．Some of us carried the trees to be planted，while some others dug holes and others watered the trees which was just planted． Looking at the beautifully plant- ed trees，we found it was necessary to set a broad to tell other tourists to protect those trees．Then my classmates dug a hole and an． other place a broad there． Though we felt a little tired after planting trees，our heart was filled up with happiness． We then took a photo beside the broad proudly．During this green action，we attach importance to protect our environment and we shall value the experience forever． 覆盖所有要点，有必要细节支撑，句型 较为丰富，但有一些语言错误。

14分 例文5：My name is Li Hua，HongXing Middle Schoo1．Grade Three，Class one．To take part in the activities of protecting envi． ronments，our class went to plant trees in sub— urbs in April 12th． In the morning，we went to suburbs by bike instead of by car．At the beginning，hay- ing arrived the suburbs，some classmates drug some holes on earth to plant trees in it．In addition，others brought some small trees． Further moregirls watered the trees which had been planted．Not only did we plant trees，but also set a board besided the trees which says“Protecting Trees”．At last，all of our classmates took a photo in front of the new planting trees． All in al1．there’s no doubt tllat we’re supposed to make every effort on protecting our environment．Earth is to human--beings what mother to babies．It’s t。