英语冷笑话简单带翻译.doc

英语冷笑话简单带翻译 篇一：简单的英语笑话带翻译 Blondes Appendicitis-金发美女的阑尾炎 A blonde has sharp pains in her side. The doctor examines her and says, You have acute appendicitis. The blonde says, Thats sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help. 一个金发美女的腹部侧面感到剧痛医生检查之后告诉他：“你得了急性阑尾炎金发美女听成acute 以为是a cute，一个可爱的阑尾炎）” 金发美女说：“您真贴心，医生，但是我是来求医的 Little Johnny... Finding Jesus 小强尼-寻找耶稣 A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, Where is Jesus today?Steven raises his hand and says, Hes in Heaven.Mary answers, Hes in my heart.Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, Hes in our bathroom!The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.Well, Little Johnny says, every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!一名主日的老师担心他的学生们有可能对耶稣感到困惑，于是他问他的学生们：“耶稣今天在哪里？”斯蒂芬举起他的手，说道：“他在天堂。

玛丽回答：“他在我心里小强尼用力挥了挥手，脱口而出：“他在我们浴室里！”大吃一惊的老师问小强尼他怎么知道这个这个嘛，”小强尼说：“每天早上，我父亲起床后，都会敲浴室的门喊着?基督-耶稣，你还在里面啊？?” Little Johnny... Know It All 小强尼什么都知道 Little Johnny asks his mother her age.She replies, Gentlemen dont ask ladies that question.Johnny then asks his mother how much she weighs.Again his mother replies, Gentlemen dont ask ladies that question.The boy then asks, Why did Daddy leave youny runs back into the room. I know all about you now. You are 36 years old, weigh 127 pounds and Daddy left you because you got an F in sex!小强尼问他母亲的年龄是多少。

她回答道：“绅士们是不会问女士们这个问题的于是强尼问他母亲她的体重是多少他的母亲再一次回答：“绅士们是不会问女士们这个问题的于是这孩纸问：“为什么爸爸离开了你？”对于这个问题，这位母亲说：“你不应该问这个问题然后把他送回他自己的房间在走的时候，强尼被他母亲的钱包绊倒当他把钱包捡起来的时候，她的驾照掉了出来强尼跑回母亲的房间说：“现在关于你的问题我都知道了你36岁了，体重127磅，还有爸爸离开你的原因是因为你在sex上的考评是F！”（got an F in sex，孩纸啊，你想歪了，那是“性别：女”啊……） Little Johnny... Definite Definition 小强尼-肯定的定义 The preschool teacher says, Were going to do vocabulary today. Who can use the word definitely in a sentence?Mary raises her hand and exclaims, Me me me!The teacher says, Go ahead, whats the sentence?Mary replies, The sky is definitely blue.Thats good, Mary, says the teacher, but the sky can also be gray or white.Sam raises his hand and states, Grass is definitely green.The teacher says, Thats good, Sam, but grass can be brown, too.Little Johnny raises his hand and asks, Do farts have lumps in them?The teacher says, No Johnny, why do you ask that?Little Johnny replies, Well, I definitely sh*t my pants.幼儿园老师说：“我们今天要做词汇题了。

谁能在里运用“肯定”这个词？”玛丽举了手大声说：“我我我！”老师说：“你说吧，什么句子？”玛丽回答：“天空肯定是蓝蓝的回答得不错，玛丽”老师点评道：“但天空也可能是灰色或者白色的山姆举手说道：“草地肯定是绿色的老师说：“回答得不错，山姆，但是草地也可能是棕色的小强尼举手问道：“屁会结成块儿吗？”老师说：“不会的，强尼，你为什么问这个问题？”小强尼回答：“好吧，我“肯定”大便在裤裆里了 经同意转载自：篇二：看笑话学英语笑话大全爆笑翻译 1.One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer, I see that your pig likes apples, but isnt that quite a waste of time? The farmer replied, Whats time to a pig? 一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。

这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地 上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果城里人对农夫说，我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?那位农夫 回答说，时间对猪有什么意义? 2.The Looney Bin Late one night at the insane asylum (疯人院）one inmate shouted, I am Napoleon!”Another one said, How do you know? The first inmate said, God told me! Just then, a voice from another room shouted, I did not! 疯人院 一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说：“我是拿破仑！”另一个说：“你怎么知道？”第一个人说：“上帝对我说的！”一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来：“我没说！”Notes: （1）Looney (俚语）疯子 （2）inmate （n.同住者, 同室者(特指在医院、监狱)） （3）insane asylum (疯人院） 3.Boxing and Running Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, This is a tough world, so I’m teaching my boy to fight. Friend: But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also been taught how to box. Dan: I’m teaching him how to run, too. 拳击和赛跑 丹在教他的儿子怎样拳击。

他告诉他的朋友：“这是一个粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的儿子怎么去拼搏 朋友：“如果他碰上的对手是一个比他高大，健壮而且也会拳击的人怎么办？” 丹：“我也会教他怎么样赛跑呢 NOTE come up against 遇到一个对手 against表示相对的相反的 warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates because every weekend on Visitor’s Day, most of the prisoners had family members and friends coming, but poor George always sat alone in his cell. So one Visitor’s Day, the warden called George to his office and said, I notice you’ve never had any visitors, George. Sympathetic, he put his hand on George’s shoulder. Tell me, don’t you have any friends or family? George replied, Oh, sure I do, Warden. It’s just that they’re all in here! 典狱长对狱中一位囚犯深感同情，因为每逢周末的探访日，大多数囚犯都有家人或朋友来访，但是可怜的乔治总是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚室中。

因此在一个探访日，典狱长把乔治叫到办公室说：“乔治，我注意到从来没有人来探望过你他满怀同情地把手放在乔治的肩膀上：“告诉我，你没有任何朋友或家人吗？” 乔治回答：“喔！当然有，典狱长，只不过他们全都在这里面！”an: Why didnt you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch? Man: If I had opened my mouth, theyd have found m。