一词多义的英语笑话50篇教学内容.ppt

英语(yīnɡ￿yǔ)一词多义笑话50篇第一页，共13页1.You￿are￿just￿a￿fool.￿I￿can’t￿bear￿you.￿￿￿--￿But￿your￿mother￿can.（homonymy）2.（In a restaurant）--Waiter, the eggs must have gone bad. --Sorry, I only laid the table.（polysemy）3.Farmer:￿If￿you￿want￿to￿spend￿the￿night￿here,￿you'll￿have￿to￿make￿your￿own￿bed.￿Traveling￿salesman:￿That's￿perfectly￿all￿right.Farmer:￿Here's￿a￿hammer￿and￿saw.￿Good￿night.（polysemy）4.We￿can’t￿get￿down￿from￿elephants.￿We￿can￿only￿get￿down￿from￿ducks（homonymy）第二页，共13页5.Marriage￿is￿an￿institution￿where￿a￿man￿loses￿his￿bachelor’s￿degree￿and￿a￿woman￿gets￿her￿master's.（homonymy）6.--If￿you￿want￿my￿daughter￿to￿marry￿you.￿You￿should￿at￿￿￿￿￿least￿tell￿me￿one￿thing￿positive￿about￿you.￿￿￿--I￿am￿HIV￿positive.（polysemy）7.Ugly￿woman:￿Don’t￿you￿think￿I’m￿beautiful?￿￿￿Photographe:￿The￿answer￿lies￿in￿the￿negative.（homonymy）8.Your￿brain￿has￿two￿parts,￿the￿left￿part￿and￿the￿right￿part.￿The￿right￿part￿has￿nothing￿left,￿and￿the￿left￿part￿has￿nothing￿right.——Did￿you￿hear￿about￿the￿guy￿whose￿whole￿left￿side￿was￿cut￿off?￿——He's￿all￿right￿now（homonymy）第三页，共13页。

9.Tourists￿want￿to￿find￿someone￿to￿take￿pictures￿￿Tourists:￿Excuse￿me!￿Are￿you￿free?￿￿prostitute:Of￿course￿not.￿I'm￿not￿free.￿￿Tourists:￿why?￿￿prostitute:I'm￿200￿hundred￿RMB￿for￿one￿night,￿or￿30￿dollars￿for￿whole￿day（polysemy）10.A￿young￿boy￿goes￿to￿social￿services￿and￿tells￿them￿he￿has￿nowhere￿to￿live.￿"What￿about￿your￿parents?"￿asks￿the￿social￿worker.￿"No,￿they￿beat￿me,"says￿the￿boy.￿"What￿about￿your￿grandparents?"￿says￿the￿social￿worker."No,￿they￿beat￿me￿even￿harder!"￿￿says￿the￿boy.￿"Well...where￿do￿you￿want￿to￿stay￿then?"￿replies￿the￿social￿worker.￿"Tottenham,"￿says￿the￿boy.￿"They￿don't￿beat￿anyone."（polysemy）11.A￿drunk￿guy￿approaches￿a￿cute￿girl￿in￿a￿singles￿bar.￿"Hi￿Babe,￿how￿about￿a￿date?"￿He￿says.￿"Don't￿waste￿your￿time.￿I￿never￿go￿out￿with￿a￿perfect￿stranger."￿"It￿seems￿we￿are￿both￿in￿luck.￿I'm￿far￿from￿perfect."（polysemy）第四页，共13页。

12.A￿rich￿man￿went￿to￿his￿lawyer￿and￿said￿“I￿would￿like￿to￿make￿a￿will￿but￿I￿don't￿know￿exactly￿how￿to￿go￿about￿it.”The￿lawyer￿says￿“Don’t￿worry.￿Leave￿it￿all￿to￿me.”The￿man￿looks￿somewhat￿upset...“Well￿I￿knew￿you￿were￿going￿to￿take￿the￿biggest￿slice￿–￿but￿I'd￿like￿to￿leave￿a￿little￿to￿my￿children￿too!”（polysemy）13.A￿down-and-out￿musician￿was￿playing￿the￿violin￿in￿the￿middle￿of￿a￿big￿shopping￿mall.￿He￿had￿his￿violin￿case￿open￿so￿that￿passersby￿could￿drop￿in￿donations.￿Then￿a￿burly￿security￿guard￿marched￿over￿and￿asked￿him,￿"May￿I￿see￿your￿permit?"￿"I￿haven't￿got￿one,"￿the￿musician￿confessed.￿"In￿that￿case￿you'll￿have￿to￿accompany￿me."￿"Splendid.￿What￿shall￿we￿sing?"￿（polysemy）14.A￿huge￿college￿freshman￿decided￿to￿try￿out￿for￿the￿football￿team.￿"Can￿you￿tackle?"￿asked￿the￿coach.￿"Watch￿this,"￿said￿the￿freshman,￿who￿proceeded￿to￿run￿smack￿in￿to￿a￿telephone￿pole￿and￿completely￿knocked￿out￿it￿over.￿"Wow,"￿said￿the￿coach,￿"I'm￿impressed.￿Can￿you￿run?"￿"Of￿course￿I￿can￿run,"￿said￿the￿freshman.￿He￿was￿off￿like￿a￿shot,￿and￿in￿just￿over￿9￿seconds￿ran￿a￿100-yard￿dash.￿"Great,"￿the￿coach￿said.￿"But￿can￿you￿pass￿a￿football?"￿The￿freshman￿hesitated￿for￿a￿second.￿"Well,￿sir,"￿he￿said,￿"If￿I￿can￿swallow￿it,￿I￿can￿probably￿pass￿it."（polysemy）第五页，共13页。

15.A￿medical￿student￿entered￿a￿patient's￿room￿carrying￿a￿syringe.￿As￿he￿approached￿the￿patient's￿bed,￿he￿said,￿"Just￿a￿little￿prick￿with￿a￿needle."￿"I￿know￿who￿you￿are,"￿the￿patient￿relied,￿"but￿what￿are￿you￿going￿to￿do?"（polysemy）16.An￿erdly￿woman￿had￿two￿small￿terriers,￿one￿male,￿the￿other￿female.￿When￿the￿female￿terrier￿died,￿the￿male￿terrier￿was￿heartbroken,￿and￿he￿died￿the￿next￿day.￿She￿took￿the￿two￿carcasses￿to￿the￿taxidermist￿so￿that￿they￿could￿be￿preserved.￿The￿taxidermist￿asked,￿"Do￿you￿want￿them￿mounted?"￿She￿replied,￿"No,￿but￿could￿you￿have￿this￿paw￿in￿hers?"（polysemy）17.A￿judge￿is￿addressing￿the￿husband￿in￿a￿divorce￿case.￿"Mr￿Johnson,￿I￿have￿reviewed￿this￿case￿carefully￿and￿I￿have￿decided￿to￿give￿your￿wife￿$2,000￿a￿month."￿The￿husband￿replies,￿"That's￿very￿generous￿of￿you,￿your￿honor,￿and,￿believe￿me,￿I'll￿try￿to￿help￿out￿a￿little￿myself￿now￿and￿then."（polysemy）18.My￿mother￿and￿father￿are￿in￿the￿steel￿and￿iron￿business.￿What￿do￿they￿do?（polysemy）第六页，共13页。

19.I￿wrote￿a￿book￿about￿watch-making……everyone￿said￿it￿was￿about￿time（polysemy）20.￿Teacher:￿George,￿can￿you￿give￿me￿lincoln's￿Gettysburg￿Address?￿￿￿￿￿George:￿No,￿but￿he￿used￿to￿live￿at￿the￿White￿House￿in￿Washing￿D.C.￿￿￿￿（polysemy）21.Why￿was￿it￿so￿hot￿after￿the￿baseball￿game?￿----￿All￿the￿fans￿left（polysemy）22.What￿happens￿to￿a￿flea￿when￿it￿becomes￿really￿angry?￿￿￿It￿gets￿hopping￿mad.23.￿Judge:￿Have￿you￿ever￿appeared￿before￿this￿court￿in￿any￿other￿suit?￿￿￿￿￿Lawyer:￿Why,￿yes￿…..the￿navy￿pinstripe.（polysemy）24.￿Do￿people￿fish￿with￿a￿permit￿in￿this￿area?￿----￿No,￿we￿fish￿with￿a￿bait.25.We've￿got￿the￿kind￿of￿President￿who￿thinks￿arms￿control￿means￿some￿kind￿of￿deodorant（polysemy）第七页，共13页。

26.Athlete:￿I'm￿going￿to￿write￿an￿article￿on￿jogging.　Editor:￿Fine.￿But￿don't￿use￿any￿run-on￿sentences.27.Mary:￿why￿are￿you￿bringing￿a￿jump￿rope￿to￿school?　Terry:￿I'm￿going￿to￿ask￿the￿principal￿if￿I￿can￿skip￿a￿grade.(synonymy)28.Madge:￿I've￿been￿asked￿to￿marry￿thousands￿of￿times.￿￿￿￿￿Mindy:￿Really?￿Who￿asked￿you?￿￿￿￿￿Madge:￿My￿mother￿and￿father.（polysemy）29.What￿did￿the￿Atlantic￿Ocean￿say￿to￿the￿Pacific￿Ocean?￿￿￿￿￿Nothing,￿they￿just￿waved（polysemy）30.Construction￿company￿needs￿a￿man￿to￿dig￿holes￿---￿Ground￿level￿position￿available.（polysemy）第八页，共13页。

31.￿Father:￿What￿should￿you￿do￿when￿you￿see￿our￿flag￿waving?little￿boy:￿Wave￿back.（polysemy）32.￿Mary￿kissed￿her￿aunt￿good-bye￿but￿her￿aunt￿didn't￿kiss￿her￿back.￿Why?Her￿aunt￿kissed￿her￿face（polysemy）33.Nothjng￿can￿mend￿a￿broken￿heart．”A￿hopeless￿widower￿said．￿￿￿￿“Except￿repairing，”A￿widow￿answered．（polysemy）34The￿farmer￿whose￿pig￿was￿killed￿by￿an￿automobile，was￿raving￿mad．￿￿“Don't￿worry，”said￿the￿motorist，trying￿to￿pacify￿be￿reaved￿￿￿￿￿owner,"I’ll￿replace￿yourpig．”“Noyou￿can'tgrowled￿the￿farmer．“you￿ain't￿fat￿enough．”（polysemy）35.We￿have￿courses￿to￿make￿growth￿men￿young￿and￿young￿men￿groan(homophones)第九页，共13页。

36.Money￿doesn't￿grow￿on￿trees.￿But￿it￿grows￿at￿our￿branches.（polysemy）37.A￿bicycle￿can't￿stand￿on￿its￿own￿because￿it￿is￿two-tyred.A￿bicycle￿can't￿stand￿on￿its￿own￿because￿it￿is￿two-tyred.￿(too￿tired)￿￿(homophones)38.Over￿500000￿ears￿of￿experiences￿￿￿￿￿Hu￿cares！(homophones)39.Waitress：Do￿you￿want￿a￿can,￿sir￿(cancer)?￿(homophones)40.There￿are￿four￿letters￿to￿scare￿the￿thief￿away:￿OICU￿￿￿￿￿Seven￿days￿without￿laughter￿makes￿one￿weak(week).￿￿(homophones)第十页，共13页41.￿￿￿A:￿Did￿your￿pig￿break￿his￿pen?￿￿￿￿￿￿￿￿B:￿That's￿right.￿Now￿he￿has￿to￿type￿his￿letters（polysemy）42.Teacher￿of￿Civics:￿Who￿is￿the￿Speaker￿of￿the￿House?￿￿￿￿￿￿Smart￿kid:￿Mother43.“Waiter!”￿￿￿￿￿“Yes,￿sir.”￿￿￿￿￿“What’s￿this?”￿￿￿￿￿“It’s￿bean￿soup,￿sir.”￿￿￿￿￿“No￿matter￿what￿it's￿been.￿What￿is￿it￿now?”(homophones)44.Donna:￿He’s￿so￿romantic.￿Every￿time￿he￿speaks￿to￿me￿he￿starts￿with￿“fair￿(free)lady”.￿￿￿￿Tina:￿Romantic,￿my￿eye.￿He￿used￿to￿be￿a￿bus￿driver.￿(homophones)45.Have￿you￿noticed￿how￿some￿students￿who￿get￿poor￿grades￿seldom￿pore￿over￿their￿books￿but￿still￿find￿time￿to￿pour￿beer￿or￿stronger￿stuff￿in￿themselves?(homophones)第十一页，共13页。

46.“My￿business￿is￿going￿up￿in￿smoke,”￿complained￿the￿cigar-maker.”￿￿￿￿“Mine￿is￿all￿write￿(right),”￿chuckled￿the￿author.￿￿￿￿“Mine￿is￿just￿sew,￿sew￿(just￿so￿so),”￿remarked￿the￿tailor.(homophones)47.My￿boss,￿a￿native￿of￿Atlanta,￿once￿said￿to￿me:￿“And￿I￿usually￿cook￿the￿bold￿shrimp.”￿￿Then￿I￿asked,”￿Is￿the￿shrimp￿in￿a￿bowl￿or￿is￿it￿extremely￿forward?”￿￿“No,￿no,”￿she￿replied.￿“BOLD￿shrimp.”￿￿￿Finally￿I￿asked￿her￿to￿spell￿it￿for￿me,￿“Bold,”￿she￿repeated.￿“You￿know,￿B-O-I-L-E-D.”(homophones)48.Clerk:￿Sir,￿I’d￿like￿my￿salary￿raised.￿￿￿￿￿Boss:￿Well,￿don’t￿worry.￿I’ve￿raised￿it￿somehow￿every￿week￿so￿far,￿haven’t￿I?￿￿￿￿￿￿（polysemy）49.￿Husband:￿I￿have￿bad￿news￿to￿tell.Wife:￿What’s￿up?Husband:￿Your￿aunt￿says￿in￿her￿letter￿that￿her￿Little￿Katie￿has￿grown￿another￿foot.（polysemy）50.A￿man￿who￿was￿involved￿in￿a￿serious￿motorcycle￿accident￿was￿unable￿to￿speak￿when￿he￿first￿regained￿consciousness.￿Wishing￿to￿know￿how￿long￿he￿had￿been￿unconscious,￿he￿took￿a￿piece￿of￿paper￿and￿a￿pencil￿from￿the￿bed-stand￿and,￿after￿writing￿“Date?”￿on￿it,￿gave￿it￿to￿his￿nurse.￿She￿handed￿it￿back￿to￿him￿after￿she￿had￿writing￿the￿word￿“Married”￿on￿it.（polysemy）第十二页，共13页。

第十三页，共13页。