[律师笑话]范文.docx

[律师笑话] 　　在美国平常百姓的印象中，律师总是脱不了“狡诈”、“吸血鬼”的形象，可是出了事又不得不跟律师打交道在这样的背景之下，产生了许多“律师笑话” 　　Q：What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer? 　　A：The tick stops draining you and drops off　　 after you"re dead．　　问：壁虱和律师有何差别?　　答：你死了以后壁虱才会停止吸你的血，掉下来　　Q：How can you tell when a lawyer is lying？　　A：His lips are moving．　　问：你怎么看得出律师在说谎?　　答：他的嘴唇在动的时候　　Q：Why won"t sharks attack lawyers?　　A：Professional courtesy.　　问：鲨鱼为什么不攻击律师?　　答：同业的礼貌　　Q：What are lawyers good for？　　A：They make used car salesmen look good．　　问：律师有什么用?　　答：让二手车推销员相形之下像是好人。

　　Q：How can you tell there"s an afterlife for lawyers?　　A：Because after they die，they lie still.　　问：你怎么知道律师死后并非一了百了?　　答：因为律师死了以后就躺着不动了　　(lie still是“继续说谎”的双关语)　　Q：What would happen if you lock a cannibal in a room full of lawyers?　　A：He would starve to death.　　问：要是把一个食人族和满屋子律师关在一起会怎么样？　　答：食人族会饿死　　Q：Why did the lawyer cross the road?　　A：To get to the car accident on the other side.　　问：律师为什么要过马路？　　答：为了赶到街对面的车祸现场插一脚　　Q：Why won"t vultures eat dead lawyers?　　A：There are some things that would gag even a vulture.　　问：秃鹰为什么不吃死去的律师?　　答：有些东西就连秃鹰吃了也会噎着。

　　（陈四化摘自台湾《时代解读》2022年第2期） 3。