I went through a red light.doc

I went through a red lightIn the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."我开车闯了红有灯在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里，一位年轻女士被带到法官面前，她由于开车闯红灯被开了罚单。

女士向法官解释，她是一名学校老师，请求法官马上处理她的案子，以便可以赶回去上课法官眼中闪过一丝狡黠，说道：“你是学校的老师，对吗？女士，我马上要实现我毕生的愿望了在那张桌子旁坐下，写‘我开车闯了红灯’500遍The result of a PromiseFather: I promised to buy you a car if you passed your examination, and you have failed. What were you doing last term?Son: I was learning to drive a car.承诺的结果父亲：我曾向你许诺，如果你考试及格就给你买俩小汽车，可你却未能做到你上学期一直在干什么呀？儿子：我在学开汽车Your horse calledA guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan.He asks, "What was that for?"She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written on it."He says, "Jeez, honey, 'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I bet on." She shrugs and walks away.Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan.He asks, "What was that for?"She answers, "Your horse called."你的马打来了一个家伙正在看报纸，他的妻子走到他身后，用一只煎锅敲他的后脑勺。

他问道：“这是为什么？”她说：“我在你口袋里发现了一张写有‘Betty Sue’的纸条他说：“哎呀，亲爱的，‘Betty Sue’是我赌的那匹马的名字她耸了耸肩，走了 三天后他正在看报纸，妻子走到他身后，又用一只煎锅敲他的后脑勺他问：“这又是为什么？”她答道：“你的马打来了I didn't need the money so badly then "Doctor," he said, "you must help me. I swallowed a penny about a month ago.""Good heavens, man!" said the doctor. "Why have you waited so long? Why don't you come to me on the day you swallowed it?" "To tell you the truth, Doctor," the poor man replied, "I didn't need the money so badly then."我当时还不缺钱一个看起来很难受的穷人走进大夫的诊室"大夫！"他说，"帮帮我！一个月前我吞了一分硬币！""天哪，"大夫说，"早干嘛去了？你当时怎么不来看？""实话告诉您吧，大夫，"穷人说，"我当时还不缺钱！"The numbers are the dateI was accompanying my husband on a business trip. He carried his portable computer with him, and the guard at the airport  gate asked him to open the case. It was locked, and the man waited patiently as my embarrassed spouse struggled to remember the combination . At last ,he succeeded. 'Why are you so nervous?' I asked him. 'The numbers are the date of our anniversary.' my husband confessed.密码是我们的结婚纪念日我陪丈夫一起出差，他带着他的手提式计算机。

机场出口处检查员要他打开包他耐心的等着我那窘迫的丈夫设法回想起暗锁的密码最后他终于想起来了你为什么那么紧张呢？”我问他这密码是我们结婚纪念日他承认道The mean man's partyThe notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow When the door open, push with your foot"  "Why use my elbow and foot"?"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're noting empty-hanged, are you" 小气鬼请客一个出了名的小气鬼终于决议要请一次客了他在向一个朋解释怎么找到他家时说“你上到五楼找中间，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃门开了之后再用你的脚把门推开为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”“你的双手得拿礼物啊天哪你总不会空着手来吧？”小气鬼回复。

That's impossibleOnce god came up to me and granted me a wish.so I asked for world peace. That's impossible, he said.Then I asked him to give you brains. He said, "Let me try world peace".那是不可能的 有一次上帝来到我面前答应了我一个愿望于是我说我要世界和平那是不可能的”他说然后我请求他让你变聪明他说：“你还是让我试试让世界和平吧The Left-Handed WhopperIn the1998: Burger King published a full page advertisement in USA Today announcing the introduction of a new item to their menu: a "Left-Handed Whopper" specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. According to the advertisement, the new whopper included the same ingredients as the original Whopper (lettuce, tomato, hamburger patty, etc.), but all the condiments were rotated 180 degrees for the benefit of their left-handed customers. The following day Burger King issued a follow-up release revealing that although the Left-Handed Whopper was a hoax, thousands of customers had gone into restaurants to request the new sandwich. Simultaneously, according to the press release, "many others requested their own 'right handed' version."左撇子大汉堡 1998年愚人节，汉堡王在今日美国报纸上发布了真个版面的广告，介绍他们的新食物：左手汉堡，据说是专为左撇子人士设计，啥都没变，就是全部旋转了180度（小编-页木很好奇：转了180度有区别么？）成千上万的顾客因此前来品尝，而且有人要求设计“右手汉堡”。

1. Why are people tired on April Fool's Day? (愚人节人们为什么疲倦?)   答：Because they have just had a long March. ( 因为他们刚过了长长的三月March 三月;行军)    2.What weather do mice and rats fear? (老鼠害怕什么天气?)    答：When it's raining cats and dogs.(下大雨rain cats and dogs 下大雨 )   3.When do dogs refuse to follow their masters? (狗什么时候不愿跟随主人?)    答：When their masters go to the flea market.(主人去跳蚤市场时Flea 跳蚤 flea market 旧货市场 )    4.What question can never be answered by “yes”? (哪个问题永远不能回答“是的”?)    答：Are you asleep? (你睡着了吗)    5.What tree is always very sad? (那种树总是很伤心?。