汉英比较翻译教程第16单元.doc

第16单元I 提示·原文来源原文作者是中国现代著名诗人、散文家何其芳（1912-1977），原文语篇选自《中国翻译》2002年第4期·译文来源< 1 >译文1为张梦井、杜耀文译，选自张梦井、杜耀文编译，1999年,《中国名家散文精译》青岛：青岛出版社< 2 > 译文2为Robert Neather译，选自《中国翻译》2002年第4期< 3 >译文3为张培基译，选自张培基译注，2003年,《英译中国现代散文选》上海：上海外语教育出版社·语体特征与翻译策略< 1 > 语篇 《雨前》是作者22岁（1933年）时的作品，后来收入他的《画梦路》（1936年）作者早期写诗歌，后多写散文，《雨前》可以说是一种从诗歌到散文的过渡期间的作品，带有很浓的抒情与诗意作者通过雨前自然景物和人物情态的描写，渲染出一种久盼甘霖的强烈气氛 < 2 > 句式 如美国学者Edward Gunn所提出的，在同时代的出版物中，《画梦路》的风格被视为“欧化”写作风格的“先驱”，是现代白话发展中十分重要的作品《雨前》是作者的代表作之一，其欧化风格在句式上的表现主要为长句的普遍使用， 而长句又主要是由多层定语或多层状语或多层散句或多层复句组成。

然而需要注意的是，语篇中有一些与长句交织在一起的短句，这些短句的不时出现，像音乐中不时出现在主旋律旁边的一个副旋律，共同组合成一个和谐的音乐篇章< 3 > 语义 少口语性词汇，而突出地使用书面语或文学性词汇，如 “遂”、“蔟生”、“萦绕”、“舒息”等文章在运用形容词作为描写方面的语汇尤为突出，如“灰暗的凄冷的天空”、“有不洁颜色的都市的河沟”等也许是受到欧化风格的影响，文章大胆运用了某些具有陌生化意义的表达，如“夜色的来袭”、“怀想使我犹豫”、“贪那深深的水里的寒冷”等这些陌生化的表达既有多种语义主语或宾语的选择，也有非传统意义上的句式上的选择另外在辞格方面，作者也是颇为用心，集拟人、排比、明喻、拟声、通感、移就、重复等多种辞格于一文，----这一切使得篇章语义表达得既新颖又符合文学审美< 4 > 翻译策略 根据语用综观论（A Pragmatic Perspective on Language）， 译者要从语境关系的顺应、语言结构的顺应、顺应的动态性和顺应过程的意识程度等四个方面运用目的语传达源发语文本；在翻译过程中要顾及语言的认知、社会和文化等复杂因素在使用目的语文化阐释源发语文化的过程中所起的作用。

虽然在翻译时，保留本文的抒情与诗意是十分重要的，但是由于对目的语语言的选择发生在语言结构的任何层面，所以保留本文的抒情与诗意的翻译策略是全方位的从总体上看，译文2特意使用了比较抒情的英文写作方式：重视句子的长度与节奏；在顺应原文多种辞格的同时，还动态性地使用了头韵之类的诗歌技巧，突出了其文学审美 II 译法要点7.1 变通：分译（句子） 7.2变通：增补（重复）7.3递升与Climax 7.4 误译：语义逻辑7.5变通：否定（II） 7.6 象似性：前置多层定语7.7风格：抽象名词 7.8选词：语用综观论7.9 散句与渐进句 7.10 长句与综合法7.11 润色：同源宾语 7.12 创新：复合名词7.13顺译：主题主语（II） 7.14 拟声与Onomatopoeia(I)7.15历史现在时（II） 7.16 通感与Synaesthesia7.17移就与Transferred Epithet 7.18 润色：Alliteration7.19风格：短句与节奏III 原文与译文【原文】雨前最后的鸽群带着低弱的笛声在微风里划一个圈子后，也消失了。

也许是误认这灰暗的凄冷的天空为夜色的来袭，或是也预感到风雨的将至，遂过早地飞回它们温暖的木舍几天的阳光在柳条上撤下的一抹嫩绿，被尘土埋掩得有憔悴色了，是需要一次洗涤还有干裂的大地和树根也早已期待着雨雨却迟疑着我怀想着故乡的雷声和雨声那隆隆的有力的搏击，从山谷反响到山谷，仿佛春之芽就从冻土里震动，惊醒，而怒茁出来细草样柔的雨丝又以温存之手抚摸它，使它簇生油绿的枝叶而开出红色的花这些怀想如乡愁一样萦绕得使我忧郁了我心里的气候也和这北方大陆一样缺少雨量，一滴温柔的泪在我枯涩的眼里，如迟疑在这阴沉的天空里的雨点，久不落下白色的鸭也似有一点烦躁了，有不洁的颜色的都市的河沟里传出它们焦急的叫声有的还未厌倦那船一样的徐徐的划行有的却倒插它们的长颈在水里，红色的蹼趾伸在尾后，不停地扑击着水以支持身体的平衡不知是在寻找沟底的细微食物，还是贪那深深的水里的寒冷有几个已上岸了在柳树下来回地作绅士的散步，舒息划行的疲劳然后参差地站着，用嘴细细地抚理它们遍体白色的羽毛，间或又摇动身子或扑展着阔翅，使那缀在羽毛间的水珠坠落一个已修饰完毕的，弯曲它的颈到背上，长长的红嘴藏没在翅膀里，静静合上它白色的茸毛间的小黑眼，仿佛准备睡眠。

可怜的小动物，你就是这样做你的梦吗?我想起故乡放雏鸭的人了一大群鹅黄色的雏鸭游牧在溪流间清浅的水，两岸青青的草，一根长长的竹竿在牧人的手里他的小队伍是多么欢欣地发出啾啁声，又多么驯服地随着他的竿头越过一个田野又一个山坡!夜来了，帐幕似的竹篷撑在地上，就是他的家但这是怎样辽远的想象啊!在这多尘土的国度里，我仅只希望听见一点树叶上的雨声一点雨声的幽凉滴到我憔悴的梦，也许会长成一树圆圆的绿阴来覆荫我自己我仰起头天空低垂如灰色雾幕，落下一些寒冷的碎屑到我脸上一只远来的鹰隼仿佛带着愤怒，对这沉重的天色的愤怒，平张的双翅不动地从天空斜插下，几乎触到河沟对岸的土阜，而又鼓扑着双翅，作出猛烈的声响腾上了那样巨大的翅使我惊异我看见了它两胁间斑白的羽毛接着听见了它有力的鸣声，如同一个巨大的心的呼号，或是在黑暗里寻找伴侣的叫唤然而雨还是没有来译文】译文1Before the Rain Having made the last circle in the breeze, the last of the pigeons disappeared with a faint whistle. Perhaps they mistakingly thought the dark and cold sky to be the coming dim light of night , or perhaps they predicted the coming wind and rain; thus they flew to their warm wooden nest rather early.A plaster of soft green cast on the willow branches after several days of sunlight now had become somewhat withered under the dust. It was in great need of a wash. And the cracked, parched earth and tree roots had long been waiting for rain. But still the rain was slow in coming.I thought of the sound of thunder and rain in my home village. The violent rumbling thunderclapse echoed from valley to valley. It seemed as if spring shoots were shaken, awakened and broke out slender green from the frozen earth. The sound of the rain as soft and thin as grass fondled them with gentle hands, making them shoot up in clusters of glossy dark green branches that waved their blossoming red flowers. This feeling of nostalgia hovered about me, making me feel melancholy in my heart. The weather in my heart felt just like the immense land in the north that was also lacking rain. A soft tear drop hesitated before falling from my dull and heavy eyes just like the rain paused in the gloomy sky. The white ducks looked a bit agitated, for their anxious cries came from ditches in the city which had become contaminated and changed colour. Some were not weary, paddling slowly along like boats ; others were putting their long necks into water, stretching their red webbed toes behind and constantly stroking the water to keep their bodies balanced. I don’t know whether they were searching for small bits of food at the bottom or just lingering in the coolness of the water below. Some had climbed on to the banks and were walking back and forth under a willow tree just like some gentlemen relieving their fatigue of paddling. Then they stood there irregularly, pluming their feathers carefully with their beaks. Sometimes , they swung their bodies or stretched their broad wings out to shake off the water drops in their feathers. One of them had finished the pluming, curling its neck upon the back with its long red beak buried within its wing and little eyes(which were among the fine white soft hair) closed, as if it were going 。