话剧《新守株待兔》

搞笑小学英语小品剧本新守株待兔 人物：农夫，兔子A，兔子B，大树。农夫：Im a farmer.（稍停顿）走两步A cool farmer.（掏出墨镜戴上）冷酷地走两步，突然被绊了一跤，继续保持冷酷Eh.When I was yong,I studied in 49 Primary School.So,Im rich now！开始展示名牌，边说边掏Look！This is my modern mobileiphone 6！This is my watch!This is my MP3!These are my shoes(夸张低沉地)ADIDAS!This is 不经意地掏出一个苹果Oh,sorry.扔掉苹果Its this!从怀里掏出痒痒挠 Do you know whats this？痒痒挠？No no noYou are out!Its my modern锄头！看下表       It is time to do some farming！开始弯下腰做出锄地的动作树：Im a tree!I can do many things!I can sing!做出疯狂摇滚歌手的动作，哼哼哈西！I can dance!跳四小天鹅 Oh?There comes a rabbit! 引导观众看兔子A)。树站回后台兔子A：OK,Im a rabbit. Now Im just walking around here.农夫继续锄地，边锄边上场，突然看见前面有个兔子农夫：（惊喜地）Lunch！扔掉痒痒挠I will catch it！ 偷偷摸摸地跟到兔子后面走农夫跟在兔子后面。两个人走啊走。兔子突然回头。农夫假装看手表。两人继续走。兔子回头。农夫假装看天气。两人继续走。兔子回头。农夫假装打手机。两人继续走，兔子回头。这次农夫冷酷地把枪口对准了兔子。兔子A：Wahhhh!（吓一跳）What do you want?农夫：Huh！I will kill U for lunch!兔子A： Wah 兔子跑，躲到树后面，农夫追到树前农夫：Where to go? Haha!农夫开了一枪“砰”(配音)。兔子在树后惊慌躲闪，没被打到。树做出受伤中弹状。 农夫又开枪，同上。 农夫开始加快频率，火力密集地开枪。兔子开始时惊慌躲闪，躲着躲着跳起舞来。树继续痛苦中弹状。兔子A自我陶醉中，边跳舞边说You can't hurt me! You can't hurt me！树：痛苦万分地ButyouHurt me.痛苦地慢慢挪动到兔子背后兔子继续兴奋地跳舞。农夫停止开枪，走到兔子面前，看着它。 兔子猛然抬头发现农夫：Ah ha! Bye bye ! 举枪对准兔子，开枪，没声音，看看枪，示意没子弹了。兔子见状，非常兴奋地大笑起来兔子A：Ha ha ha ha! You cant kill me now！ 兴奋大笑，笑到抽筋，笑到后仰。突然头撞倒了后面的树 Wa ！倒地农夫：OH! 很兴奋地过去两个手指提起兔子My lunch , I caught you ! 把兔子绑到树上。打呵欠tired! Ill eat you after sleeping.倒地睡觉（打鼾的声音）兔子A：兔子很快醒了，看看四周，发现自己被绑了，很惊讶Where am I? What happened?树：指着农夫He has caught you and wants to eat you.兔子A：What?! I must leave here! But how can I escape？东张西望，看到农夫的手机A  mobile!解开绳子去看手机Its Nokia WC 250! Wow,how fashion!放回原处。又自觉地把自己绑在树上。 突然想起来A mobile！Maybe I can call some one to help me！ 又不知不觉地把自己放出来，那起手机做出打电话的样子 (配音：拨电话) Hello？兔子B：Hello!Its Jenny.                    兔子A：Hey Jenny！                兔子B：Oh,hey Mary!兔子A：How are you?                                    兔子B：Fine,thank you.And U?兔子A：Im fine too!How are your parents?                    兔子B：They are fine,thank you.And U?兔子A：They are fine,too!How is your uncle?                   兔子B：Hes fine,thank you!And U?兔子A：Hes fine , too! How        兔子B：Eh.eh.ehwait.But why do you call me? If you want borrow some money from meNO WAY!兔子A：No no no!Im in danger now!Come and help me!兔子B：But where are you?                  兔子A：Im under a tree!兔子B：边打电话边在附近走，经过兔子A面前，两个人还没发现What can you see around you?兔子A：I see a rabbit that looks exactly like you!兔子B：A rabbitlike me OK!Ill find you.Just a second!Wait for me! I will help you! 匆匆离开兔子A 打完电话，小心翼翼地把手机放回农夫处，然后又很自觉地要把自己绑回了树上兔子A：Haha!My friend will come and save me!yeah! 兴奋过度，后仰，头又撞倒树上,倒地(虚弱地)Oh!Hurt! Call 110Or 119?112?.Oh,forget it!Im dying!作喉咙卡住声音，死去兔子B上。兔子B：Im also a rabbit！Im smart! Im  lovely! And Im (作风情万种)beautiful! （自我陶醉）转头看自己右手边，却发现兔子A倒在地上Oh,my!Mary!伏在兔子A身上(哭声)Im so sorry,Mary!Im too late!5555555Mary!痛苦而夸张地转身敲打树树：Oh!Oh,dont hit me.!Dont hit me!Im breaken!朝地上倒，压倒兔子B兔子B：What?NO.NO!.Icant.breath(作死了的声音)农夫一觉醒来。看见两只兔子 En.?Two rabbits! I rememer I have caught just one?!Oh,thanks god!How lucky I am!兴奋地一手提一只兔子，哼着小曲下场